it's fall
I think that it’s supposed to be fall but I hear lots of crickets outside our bedroom window. The mornings are getting colder though and so are the evenings. I want to like this season, an excuse for outdoor fires and Sunday football for Ian and leggings with thick sweaters and moccasins.
But I just can’t do it. Because fall is when Ian’s car slid under an suv and is when Steve died. Sunday marks six years since Ian’s accident and eight days after that will be three years since we’ve seen Steve.
And so autumn, you are beautiful but you hold in you so much sadness. Too many leaf-strewn drives to the ICU. For that, I’ll be ok when you’ve passed.
anonymous
September 26, 2012 at 3:03 am
Hello, I've been following your blog for just a little while. Six years ago you realized just how big our God really is. How much love he is consumed with and how much we should count our blessings more than our trials. Three years since Steve got to meet our creator. How amazing is that! I'm sure his face is missed, as I miss those whom I've loved and I've given back from their earthly residences to their heavenly eternal home. It's hard. Just know there are silent people like me whom are always praying for you, Ian and the rest of your entire family and church family as well.
Much love, your sister in Christ,
Lindsey
anonymous
September 26, 2012 at 4:52 am
As fall comes, presents itself, and leaves, my heart goes out to you. Praying for more than coping, praying for sweet blessings to someday transform what fall means. He is the constant light in darkness.
Teresa Messick
September 26, 2012 at 12:25 pm
I asked the Lord to give you an extra measure of his presence today and to show you the beauty that comes with this season, dispite what has marked it in the past. Thank you for being so transparent with your journey…you will be blessed!
abbi
September 26, 2012 at 1:02 pm
<3
anonymous
September 26, 2012 at 1:30 pm
Fall is a time of rest – for all of nature, including us. I rest in Him and look toward to the "Spring" of life when we will be with our Lord and Savior – FOREVER in His glory. Steve is already enjoying that, and after all of our Falls, Winters, Springs and Summers, we will, as well.
Continued prayers, Rene
Melinda
September 26, 2012 at 3:09 pm
I feel this way about August. 3 Augusts ago, my MIL had her strokes. 2 Augusts ago, my FIL passed. This past August couldn't go quickly enough. It's a tough bit of concentrated painful memories to get by, that's for sure.
anonymous
September 26, 2012 at 10:24 pm
What a sad time of year for you.I will continue to pray for both of you.Despite the TBI,it appears you have a sweet,Godly marriage. God bless you both.
anonymous
September 27, 2012 at 7:06 am
Ian and Larissa,
Thank you. I saw your wedding video today and you guys taught me so many lessons.
When we see things with the eyes of God, everything changes around us. Even the sad memories autumn brings. Hold on to your faith, that's what keeps us going. I said a little prayer for you both.
MJ
anonymous
September 27, 2012 at 6:20 pm
I recently stumbled across your blog and have been blessed to read it. I pray for you often as I read your blog. I pray God will strengthen you in everything and bless you for your faith and trust. Some things in life are so hard to understand, and it will be with unspeakable joy that we lay them down and leave them OUTSIDE heaven's doors!
~A reader praying for you from Illinois
carmenmichelle@gmail.com
September 27, 2012 at 9:51 pm
oh lovely, i am so sorry this time of year holds so many painful memories for you. praying for continued comfort and strength.
though i'm sure you never would have asked for it to be this way, know that you are such an inspiration for many of us to what unwavering love looks like, what trust in God looks like, and what not letting the enemy win looks like. hardly anyone ever desires for pain and trails to be brought upon us to glorify Him, yet He chooses those He knows will honor Him through it, those He can grow in it.
i pray for you and your family daily, and have truly been inspired in my walk as a woman of God because of your story. <3
anonymous
September 28, 2012 at 8:18 pm
i just wanted to tell you what a blessing yall are to me. iam a southern baptist preacher's son who has often struggled with God's sovereignty. I lost my mom in feb. 2010, and two months later my wife abandoned me. The grief nearly killed me but God was gracious and faithful to me and has since taught me to be completely dependent on HIM. I have since joined a presbyterian church (pca) and have grown in my faith with the Lord and have come to terms that God is good, and all that he decrees for us is for our benefit and HIS glory. I love john piper's sermons and have found your blog to be such a blessing to me. God bless yall and unto God be all the glory. One of my favorite verses, "You are good, and what you do is good;
teach me your decrees." Psalm 119:68.
anonymous
October 2, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Yes, the leaves are beautiful…but they are dying…
2 Corinthians 4:10
…always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.
Even broken jars of clay carry LIFE!
Praying for you.