So what is love? What does it mean to be loved by Jesus? Love means giving us what we need most. And what we need most is not healing, but a full and endless experience of the glory of God. Love means giving us what will bring us the fullest and longest joy. And what is that? What will give you full and eternal joy? The answer of this text (1 john 11:1-16) is clear: a revelation to your soul of the glory of God—seeing and admiring and marveling at and savoring the glory God in Jesus Christ. When someone is willing to die—or let your brother die—to give you (and your brother) that, he loves you. Love is doing whatever you have to do to help people see and treasure the glory of God as their supreme joy—to help people see and be satisfied with the glory of God. -john piper;} catch(e) {})
Therefore it is that god’s people pass through great tribulation; therefore is is they are often called upon to suffer the sting of affliction and anxiety, or weep over the grave of those whom they have loved as their own soul. it is their Father’s hand that chastens them; it is thus He weans their affection from things below and fixes them on himself; it is thus He trains them for eternity, and cuts the threads one by one that bind their wavering hearts to earth. No doubt such chastening is grievous for the time, but still it brings many a hidden grace to light, and cuts down many a secret seed of evil; and we shall see those who have suffered most shining among the brightest stars in the assembly of heaven. the purest gold is that which has been longest in the refiner’s furnace. the brightest diamond is often that which has required the most grinding and polishing. but our light affliction endureth but for a moment, and it worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. the saints are men who have come out of great tribulation- they are never left to perish in it. the last night of weeping will soon be spent, the last wave of trouble will have rolled over us, and then we shall have a peace that passeth all understanding; we shall be at home for ever with the lord.
j.c. ryle
Change is Good
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Ian and I have been talking about how we can change the blog to better serve our readers and those faithfully praying for us. Over the past five years, the blog has morphed significantly – initially set up as a way to update our friends and family on the constant changes to Ian’s immediate health right after the accident, we now don’t have many medical updates or big progress posts. We’ve entered into a new style of life, one that without a miracle, will become and has become the new normal. With that, we feel that the messaging of our blog has changed and will continue to change, hopefully without losing sight of the gospel or the reason that most of you visit the blog – to simply pray for ian.
Where we see the blog taking us for the next few months and if the lord allows, the next few years, is to really be able to share with our readers what it looks like to live in the midst of a significant disability at a young age and what it means as a christian to live that every day. and, more importantly, to not just live it, but to share the battle to see the beauty and grace that encompasses a life (and marriage ) disabled. we know that our blog already has expressed this in some ways, but we want to be more intentional in what we share and how we share it.
The first addition is a new daily gratefulness list, which is a right-link as a flickr photo stream. We know that daily thanking God for all of his blessings is critical in fighting against bitterness in the face of suffering. colossians 3:15 says it best – “and be thankful.”
We also have some exciting ideas and really great things coming up the first of the year to share with everyone.
More importantly, we want each of you, our readers, to know that you have played a role in our lives that we won’t fully understand until we reach heaven. in ian’s words, “thank you.”
We are grateful and continue to pray for grace to humbly share our lives/struggles/joys with you.
with love
i&l
Ian, on what heaven is like
I don’t know – its not for us to know. It’s better than this place. And that’s enough for us to be excited. And that’s all we need to know.
my favorite.
dance with me
Thank you for healing me;
I was dying beneath my shame
But You brought me to life again, and I will sing:
Thank you for freeing me
I was dead to the truth of You,
But my healing was in Your wounds, and now I sing:
Thank you for healing me.
I was dying beneath my shame
But You brought me to life again, and I will sing:
Thank you for freeing me
I was dead to the truth of You,
But my healing was in Your wounds, and now I sing:
Thank you for healing me.
Though outwardly I may waste away,
On the inside I´ll be more alive every day.
As I walk through times of pain and grief
There´s a deeper truth inside of me…
You have placed Your life inside of me.
both ian and i have been feeling unwell over the past few days/weeks. god has been teaching us much but at times have grown weary and discouraged. tonight was a night that i would be alone with ian, without his brother here working and helping with transfers and the like. i didn’t work all day, not feeling well enough, and i found myself feeling anxious about being alone to care for ian – evenings that i typically look forward to with much anticipation.
but god has met us, and met this very tiny request of meeting our needs just on this night, which is a speck of our lifetime. ian has made me laugh, made our roommate jen laugh, forgotten her name which made us laugh really hard, and he has cared for me. we took a walk. we watched a movie. and just after i had hung up the phone, he told me he wanted to dance with me. and on pandora was a song that i had been searching for all week, and it was a perfect moment. a perfect moment because ian was showing god to me, loving me, asking me to dance with him, caring for me. and we were dancing to words of healing, and mercy, and life. this is my husband who, two years ago, could not sit up in bed by himself. his dad, and i, and his caregiver had to hold him for strength. and now, even though his arms and legs are tired, he’s pursuing a dance with his wife.
i am so grateful to the lord for my husband, and for these moments of sweetness and fellowship with the lord. i’m reminded each day that we are most clearly met when we are most weak.
thank you, always
i&l
…bless the lord, oh my soul…
Disability Conference
Below is a conference that sounds good, and applicable. This may be encouraging for any of you who have also been affected by disability.
Enjoy
I&L
I have a brain injury, too
On Friday after work, it was warm in the 70s, the end of the day was on my mind followed by two more work-less days. Driving home with the windows down, I watched as people were jogging, playing tennis, sliding down the homemade slip-n-slide outside their college apartments. My desires to “do something” were growing. And I was so glad to not be at work.
But then I got home and saw Ian sleeping, so tired from his cold, and not able to go for a run with me. Or even a walk. And his disability again freshly became mine. And I had to try to fight to let my desires to go out and enjoy something die.
This is what it’s like to be married to someone with a tbi. I imagine it’s the same for someone who is chronically sick, or has special needs, or who is dying. Their sickness becomes their spouses sickness. I have a brain injury, just like Ian. Because when we became one flesh, I gained his sorrows. Just as Jesus was a man of sorrows and has shared in them with us, I share them with Ian. And while it is a gift of marriage, it is painful and sad.
We could probably write a whole book on this topic alone. Because it changes everything about our life, even mine. But Jesus knows it more deeply than us, and if we can just rest there, we will be filled.
Thank you, always
Larissa
From Caleb
the below post is from our brother, caleb murphy. caleb spends forty hours each week helping ian, and so he has gained a pretty up-close view of ian as a husband:
As a husband, I want to be strong
for my wife. I want her to see me as a man in the same vein as Maximus Aurelius
from Gladiator; a persistent and strong
leader with good intent. In reality, I’m more like a child in middle school
who’s trying to impress a girl but continually cracks under pressure.
for my wife. I want her to see me as a man in the same vein as Maximus Aurelius
from Gladiator; a persistent and strong
leader with good intent. In reality, I’m more like a child in middle school
who’s trying to impress a girl but continually cracks under pressure.
But how can Ian, a crippled man
who’s been stripped of many physical and mental capabilities, be this type of
man for his wife?
who’s been stripped of many physical and mental capabilities, be this type of
man for his wife?
Well, the most important aspect of
service to your wife is soul-protector. How did Jesus best serve the church? By
redeeming and caring for the church. He gave himself up for the church so that
“he might sanctify her” (Eph. 5:25-26). He gave himself up “so that he might
present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such
thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Eph. 5:27). Husbands are
supposed to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up
for her” (Eph. 5:25).
service to your wife is soul-protector. How did Jesus best serve the church? By
redeeming and caring for the church. He gave himself up for the church so that
“he might sanctify her” (Eph. 5:25-26). He gave himself up “so that he might
present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such
thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Eph. 5:27). Husbands are
supposed to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up
for her” (Eph. 5:25).
We cannot save people from
damnation, but we can care for them. So, the best way a husband can serve his
wife is by caring for her spiritual condition and seeking her sanctification.
This is the most obvious way Ian serves Larissa, and he does it well.
damnation, but we can care for them. So, the best way a husband can serve his
wife is by caring for her spiritual condition and seeking her sanctification.
This is the most obvious way Ian serves Larissa, and he does it well.
Ian’s joyfulness and complete
reliance on God seem to bring encouragement to Larissa, not to mention his
quickness to bring God back to the center of things. Ian portrays faith like it
should be portrayed: as common sense. God is good and that’s the truth, even to
a man in Ian’s condition.
reliance on God seem to bring encouragement to Larissa, not to mention his
quickness to bring God back to the center of things. Ian portrays faith like it
should be portrayed: as common sense. God is good and that’s the truth, even to
a man in Ian’s condition.
This should reposition my focus in
marriage. The most important aspect of protecting, caring and providing for my
wife is spiritual. Even if I were handicapped, unable to walk by myself, and
relying on her for everything, the weight of her soul on my heart should be
heavier than any other burdens I might have.
marriage. The most important aspect of protecting, caring and providing for my
wife is spiritual. Even if I were handicapped, unable to walk by myself, and
relying on her for everything, the weight of her soul on my heart should be
heavier than any other burdens I might have.
I should be more like Ian, because
Ian serves his wife like Jesus serves his church.
Ian serves his wife like Jesus serves his church.
sunday night
this weekend was for rest. grateful to have a weekend full of my best friend.
and then a sunday to think about the two best moms in the universe.
