Below is a conference that sounds good, and applicable.  This may be encouraging for any of you who have also been affected by disability.

Disability Conference

Enjoy
I&L

On Friday after work, it was warm in the 70s, the end of the day was on my mind followed by two more work-less days. Driving home with the windows down, I watched as people were jogging, playing tennis, sliding down the homemade slip-n-slide outside their college apartments. My desires to “do something” were growing. And I was so glad to not be at work.

But then I got home and saw Ian sleeping, so tired from his cold, and not able to go for a run with me. Or even a walk. And his disability again freshly became mine. And I had to try to fight to let my desires to go out and enjoy something die.

This is what it’s like to be married to someone with a tbi. I imagine it’s the same for someone who is chronically sick, or has special needs, or who is dying. Their sickness becomes their spouses sickness. I have a brain injury, just like Ian. Because when we became one flesh, I gained his sorrows. Just as Jesus was a man of sorrows and has shared in them with us, I share them with Ian. And while it is a gift of marriage, it is painful and sad.

We could probably write a whole book on this topic alone. Because it changes everything about our life, even mine. But Jesus knows it more deeply than us, and if we can just rest there, we will be filled.

Thank you, always

Larissa

the below post is from our brother, caleb murphy. caleb spends forty hours each week helping ian, and so he has gained a pretty up-close view of ian as a husband:

over the past 12 hours, our story has been watched more than 86,000 times. this is astounding. and to ian in particular, it is worth it: “i would do this (disability) all over again if i knew it would affect this many people. god is glorious.”

and so here we are, knowing that literally thousands of people just today have hopefully somehow seen god through our marriage. that in itself is mind-blowing. because it is so not of us. we are so very ordinary. tonight is so very ordinary. ian is napping. the rain is pouring outside and the washer downstairs is spinning. the poor clothes in the washer probably won’t get switched until I get home from work tomorrow. and by that time, they’ll need to be re-washed. i can’t see the floor of our bedroom, our laundry completely taking over. i’m putting off making dinner, even though all it requires is putting leftovers on a plate and into the microwave.

and yet, in the midst of this ordinary, the weight of what has happened today through this video and what will continue to happen pummels me. it pummels me because what god is accomplishing through our afflictions is happening at the same time that we are sinning. What a great divide that crosses. What wretched sinners Ian and I are, and yet somehow, He uses us to magnify himself. Our sin does not prevent god’s glory on display.

on days like this, we get just a glimpse of this promised eternal weight of glory, as undeserved as it is, and it is enough to bring us to our knees. how great this weight will be in heaven!

one thing that we love and hold so close on days like this is that our dad, steve, now feels and knows that weight of glory. he prepared us so well and we can’t wait to see him again. one of the biggest impressions on my heart the few days after he died was that he was seeing fully. and that he would encourage us to press on, because it is beyond worth it.

thank you, all. in the words of my dear husband, god is awesome.

i&l

“blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trail, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” james 1:12

to ian, he said that it’s hard for him to see now that ‘blessed is the man.’ it’s hard to see that blessedness in his life. how clearly the scripture leads us to ian’s eternal reward – ‘he will receive the crown of life.’ nothing more is needed.

thank you for praying

there are few things in life better than being an aunt. or an uncle. we’re so fortunate to have five little ones under the age of three, with number six joining us any day now. it’s especially fun to watch our oldest nephew because he’s so much like ian. and they are hilarious together. if paladin doesn’t want ian’s arm around him, he says so. if ian wants some of paladin’s food, he says so. they’re both very particular and very vocal about those opinions, but in the best way.

ian loves being with all of our little squirts and on saturday we will celebrate our youngest nephew’s first birthday. each of them is a gift.

thankful for family. and that tomorrow is friday:)

larissa

she packed us a picnic of lemon water and milk in the glass bottles that were his birthday gift. it was a coupon to redeem for a picnic, meal of our choice, date and time of our choice. and so being date night, we stopped at our mother in law’s house for our basket filled with chicken salad sandwiches, brownies and milk – at Ian’s request.

the sky was teasing us with passing dark clouds and so we opted for the park with a nearby pavilion. we took just one out of the basket at a time, just in case we had to pack up quickly.

after an hour of watching the clouds, and eating and talking, we decided to risk it and settled on a blanket under a strong and sprawling tree.

i wanted to capture the moment and so i brushed past ian laying on the blanket, looking back at the tree as i walked.

“you look beautiful in that skirt.”

after a quiet thank you i snapped a picture, a smile behind the hands holding the phone. i walked back over to the blanket, laying next to him, smiling yet.

“i can’t believe i’m so blessed to have such a beautiful wife.”

noticing i was cold, he pulled the blanket up over my shoulder, simply loving me.

i turned onto my back, looking up at the huge tree, and smiled. i smiled because God knew exactly what my heart needed that night. and he softened my heart as he softened ian’s, and gave us a sweet and beautiful moment of feeling so deeply the joy of being loved, by each other and by our Father.

in a nagging week that had “brain injury” running through my thoughts too many times, there was peace and a moment of rest. and tonight, after work and spending time with our little man paladin, i told ian i was tired.

“you just need to sit down and rest for awhile.”

and so we will rest, as the white curtains on our patio shift in the breeze and the little birds enjoy the new food in their feeders. there’s a tea pot on the stove waiting for water and a husband ready to just sit with his wifey.

thank you, always
i&l