Desiring God ministries, the group that released this video of us earlier this spring, just released the top 25 of their blog posts for 2012, based on readership. at the top of the list was one of ours, and was viewed more than any other post.
and as we sit here, listening to a christmas album on vinyl, looking at the posters of notes for our book taped all along our wall, we wonder what God is up to. it doesn’t make sense that so many people would be drawn to our story. in our newly re-arranged suite, the hours and days and months coming up are unknown. the work that God is creating in our families is unknown. but if it’s anything like 2012, it’s going to be surprising.
i need a place to hide, to bury myself into rest and into the love that was bought for me. far too human to love as deeply in return as i have been given, i weakly thrust myself onto love that came down, love that rescued me and rescued my husband.
~ love came down and rescued me….i am forever yours ~
this weekend was for being away and for being out of reach of cell phone signals – a place where refreshment comes easily. we arrived to a lake house full of family and woke saturday to more babies and aunts and pancakes and eggs.
God is a god of gifts and rest, both of which He gave to us abundantly this weekend. because in the mountains, even a day of painting cabin bunks and canvases means an escape.
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she came to visit us, our life photographer, on a warm summer day to take photos to be on the inside flap of a book that was being scripted each evening after dinner.
that day was the first time he could do this,
stand next to me, with just my hand helping him, not with my arm around him, like we needed to in all of the photos from this day
where my arm was hidden around his back, helping him, balancing him, and we couldn’t stand and simply hold hands.
this summer came to ian in strength, upgrading to a walker, and then a cane and committing to walking by year 30. he left the house without a wheelchair for the first time and he walked out the front doors of his mom’s house for the first time.
2013 was a big year.
yet, on a day that becomes reflective for so many of us, that’s not what i most see.
what i most see is a hard-fought year, with fears and exposure and costs and crying and days sitting in front of a blank computer screen wondering why we signed a contract- that were all swallowed up by what was following us. by what was behind us and before us.
it was a year swallowed up in God.
it was a year that He swallowed us up, taking our inadequacies that were asked to put our story into 75,000 words, our legs that were asked to learn to walk again, our hearts that at times wanted out.
He followed us with mercy, and made our hopeless mornings and our sweet, quiet date nights and our laughter at his inappropriate jokes into beautiful life canvases.
He followed us with His goodness, keeping us, with his white-knuckle grip.
He blessed us, with two new nieces and nephews, bring number seven and eight into our hearts that four years ago didn’t know that type of love.
He kept us, in each other, faithful and honorable to our covenant.
And all that we were given in Him will continue to be, so that this coming year that looms with exposure as our feebly written pages will be carried home in shopping bags and delivered with the mailman won’t be faced apart from mercy. Or Himself. Or joy, in the most unexpected places.
He will follow us, and someday, someday hopefully soon, we will dwell in His house, forever.
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