thank you for generously purchasing our pray for ian tshirts. so far, we’re able to send $113 to these guy’s school or church. we’re so excited to get to bless them a little bit extra this month.

always,
i&l

writing a book is really hard work. and we’re on like page six. so for anyone reading our blog who is already a published author, kudos to you and i hope we get there someday too.

as i was writing the other morning, i realized that you, our blog readers, probably have a better perspective on why we should write this book – what gives this story enough worth to be captured in a book. we’re too close to it, living it each day, and aren’t able to see it the same way you or our potential book readership would. and so not being able to separate myself from my marketing world, we think you’d be the perfect focus group!

so we’re asking that you help us, our old or new followers. if you feel like it, just send a comment back or email us at prayforian@gmail.com with any answers to these questions:

– why do you still read our blog?

– what does our story have to offer in book form that has not already been shared by other authors?

– having followed our story through the blog, what is a piece of our story or angle of our story that you think needs to be included in a book?

– what is the attribute(s) of god that you see mostly clearly through ian’s life?

– if you had the write the “mission statement” of our book, what would it be?

any of our thoughts on any of these questions would be really incredible as we try to find the direction for this project.

thank you, always, for praying.

i&l

From Stephen, our friend and pastor:

My Godly, Disabled Friend

I’ve known Ian for a long time. Since we were kids in fact. We grew up next door to each other, so I got to see Ian in action during the formative years of his life. I remember when Ian tumbled out of the maple tree behind our house and broke his pelvis. I remember when Ian was being chased around the backyard by his mom because he had disobeyed her and he wouldn’t allow her to discipline him. I remember Ian and my brother David filming many profoundly stupid videos in our basement. I also remember the day of Ian’s car accident. I remember standing beside Ian’s hospital, pleading with God to spare Ian’s life. I remember the ventilator.

Since Ian’s accident, I’ve come to learn some things about people who have disabilities. I’ve learned that people with disabilities are able to glorify God just as much, if not more, than those without disabilities. When I see the way that Ian and Larissa live, and the way that they seek to honor and please the Lord in the midst of pain and trial, I’m amazed. Ian is glorifying God in ways that I can’t. He is glorifying God by being patient in trial. By trusting God. By blessing God through pain. Ian’s life looks very different than mine, yet he is bearing just as much, if not more fruit than me.

I’ve also learned that a disability doesn’t define a person. In many ways Ian is still the same guy he was before his accident. He still has a bizarre sense of humor. He is still high maintenance. Just the other day I was with Ian and I asked him how he was doing. He said, “I’ll be doing much better when I get my coffee.” Like I said, high maintenance. Sometimes I think we can treat people with disabilities like they are somehow different than us. Ian is still my brother in Christ and my friend. Our lives look different, but we are still bound together in Christ. He is not defined by his disability.

Finally, I’ve learned to appreciate heaven more. Ian and Larissa look forward to heaven more than any people I know. Ian’s disability pushes his eyes heavenward. He knows that in many ways, this life stinks. I’m provoked by Ian’s longing for heaven. I can be pretty darn complacent and comfortable. When things are going well, heaven recedes to the background. I want to be more like my friend Ian.

even as he laid in the hospital beds, unable to open his eyes, raise a finger or even open his mouth, he knew me. We would watch the quickening heart monitor, and later his gaze as it followed me down the hallways, and eventually his voice speaking “I love you.” he always showed us that he had not forgotten me.

and now as my husband, he is the same. Speaking little, it is always gentle and often delightfully mocking. He loves me well and he loves despite my selfishness and his own sin.

and even as many things seem to continue to be removed from us, we have gained Christ further through our marriage. I am so grateful we had that courage under the chandelier that August.

Happy valentines day to my dear husband. My love to you always,

Larissa

“and we know that for those who love god all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” Romans 8.28

a helpful verse, our wedding date, and Steve’s birthday- 8.28. The esv study notes say that “good” on this reference is not earthly comfort, but conformity to Christ, closer fellowship to god, bearing fruit for the kingdom and final glorification. And in our story, this verse has held us through loss, confusion, death, and joys.

and god has not kept our story silent, evidenced by the thousands of you who have prayed for Ian since the very beginning. I had the joy of meeting our pastor’s grandmother this weekend, who has prayed for Ian every single day since his accident. People have not grown weary of praying for Ian.

And so because we believe god is working this for our ultimate good and because we have been carried in prayer by even complete strangers in the practical sense, we are venturing into the world of writing our book. Of our story. Steve and I talked often of doing this and even started, but the timing did not seem right.

But now we are trying. And it’s hard work. But if our story is used to save one person, encourages anyone in their disability, or any one other act of god, then it is worth it.

And so if you think of it, please pray for me as I write. And for Ian as he helps me to edit. We want to be faithful servants of the gifts god has granted us.

Thank you, always.
I&L

P.s. if you are having trouble leaving comments, please email us at prayforian@gmail.com as we’re trying to correct this.

What shall I render to the lord for all his benefits to me?

Psalm 116:12

over the past year or so, i’ve been able to get to know a great young lady from one of a sister church. this summer, as we were enjoying an evening ice cream cone, i learned that she has known disability her entire life. below is a (very) brief note from her on what it was like to be kelsey, growing up with a mom who is a quadriplegic:


My mom was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at the age of 19 – as it progressed, the paralyzation crept from the legs up. My mom had me at the age of 34. By that time, she had a lot of weakness in her arms and her legs were completely immobile. At the time, having a mom that couldn’t do as much as others physically didn’t come as a surprise to me being that this condition was all I had known. It was more less second nature. So helping extra around the house was something that came to mind as a “my mom can’t do this physically. Therefore its my job.” 


My dad worked third shift most of my childhood. So getting my mom into bed quickly became our responsibility. My brother is only two years older than me. So we learned to work together. Kids at school would often ask questions such as “why is your mom in a wheelchair?” or “why can’t she feed herself?” It was difficult, I’ll admit, but it got to a point where explaining as best we could was all that we could do. Everyone was accepting. Friends that came over acted as if nothing was wrong and helped her as if they were her own child. 


Like I said growing up everything was so natural. Because Tyler and I were young and in school while my dad was at work, my mom has a home nursing agency come in. We’ve had many caregivers all of which were absolutely amazing. So we learned to adapt quickly to new people and to be accepting.  I learned quickly that simple things such as feeding my own self, my mom couldn’t do. It gave us so many reasons to be thankful for – things that are easily overlooked.


All in all, my brother and I had to become independent and grow up really fast. It was a good thing though –  I learned how to balance a check book,write checks, pay bills. Tyler has learned many things to maintain a household as a guy.


Now,10 years later I look back and it seems crazy to me. Crazy in a way that I saw my mom as if she didn’t even have a disease. Crazy that I was so focused on other things that I could overlook a paralyzing disease that to others may seem quite evident. I don’t ever remember my mom holding me or hugging me as a child because I was too young to remember. And, I’ll be honest, it hurts. Its weird to me that I’ve never seen my mom walk, never had her drive me anywhere – simple things that other little kids experienced. Looking back it makes me sad, but I am so very very thankful to have a mother figure in my life…Yeah, her limbs didn’t work and I couldn’t physically feel her embrace, but I knew for a fact that she loved Tyler and I more than anything. And that is an amazing realization to come to. People sometimes find different things that we do to accommodate her needs and conformities odd or out of the ordinary. But we accommodate. It’s just everyday ordinary here at our home. If you sit back and let all of this set in, you’ll understand when I say that my mom’s disability was of no burden but an utmost blessing to the lives of many. 


i am so thankful to have heard from kelsy – as ian and i pray for our future family members, it is so wonderful to hear from someone who knows what it’s like to be raised by a parent who is ‘different’ but who is so, so dear and is an incredible mom.


always,
i&l

“you were almost dead. and now you’re not.”

“i needed you.”

in my recent personal writings, and as i have thought back to the hospital, the therapies, sitting by a silent hospital bed, i have come to realize that i won’t ever be able to capture in words what ian is to me. or what he is to our family. or the glory that god reveals of himself through ian. i can try to honor him and i can share the incredible faith that he has through this blog. but i’m not sure there are words to be put into sentences that can share fully what is most treasured about my husband. he has lost so much but he loves so much. he is a good man, just like his dad. he endures his life with kindness. and he loves me so very well.

tonight, a quiet date night, no fancy meals, just sweatpants and stillness, i am so very thankful for this man. and i am so glad that when we do someday part, it won’t be for long.

thank you, for praying for my best friend.

with love
larissa