The mystery is not why Steve died from cancer, but rather why he was chosen as a recipient of redemption.

I’ve felt great comfort since Steve’s death knowing that he has gone before us and that he now completely understands his son’s suffering. All of his questions have been answered and he fully understands the purpose in Ian’s suffering. When I think of what Steve might say to us now it is that all of this is worth Christ.

I don’t like to think about maintaining this blog without Steve. For three years, he and I have been the main authors to this blog and have tried to use it as a means to share our sufferings and wrestlings with truth. But I would rather maintain it myself than have someone else write- no one else will be Steve. So consider this my vow to the blogger world to continue to write, Lord willing, with the ultimate desire of reflecting Christ in all that we share with our readers.

And to honor Steve’s desires, this blog won’t mainly be about Steve. Just a few weeks ago he clearly expressed to me the fact that this blog is pray for Ian, not pray for Steve. Even in his cancer, he was more concerned about his son than himself. I’m sure that we will post pictures and share this new journey of deepened suffering, but will continue to mainly communicate Ian’s story. Although, without Steve there would be no Ian, so untangling the two may be difficult:)

Thank you, all, for praying.

My dad went on to glory to see his Savior this afternoon.

An email to the church from Mark Altrogge, our pastor:

Hi everyone,

I just spoke with Mary Murphy who gave me an update on Steve. Since the second operation his condition has continued to deteriorate. He has experienced excruciating pain and pressure in his head, and is now unable to speak, and pretty much unable to walk. Last night Mary enrolled him in the hospice program. Hospice really makes an effort to get pain under control and keep him comfortable. They started Steve on morphine today, so they are hopeful that Steve’s pain will lessen. At this point they are not planning any more treatments.

Although Steve is sad, he is not at all afraid and looks forward to going to be with the Lord, should that be God’s will. Mary and the family are trusting the Lord and looking to him for grace.

Although the situation does not look encouraging, Jesus could still heal Steve. Until we know what God’s will is, let’s continue to ask God to have mercy on him and heal him. Let us pray and ask the Lord to relieve Steve’s pain, to restore his speech, to restore the use of his arm and legs and to heal him completely. Nothing is impossible with God. Let’s pray for grace and strength and comfort for the family.

Thanks for praying,

Mark

Specific udates/prayer requests:

The anti-seizure medicine that Ian is now on makes him very tired. He told me tonight that it’s really frustrating to be that tired. Please pray that God would work the situation out- either allowing Ian to be removed from the medication or not becoming so sleepy from it.

Please pray for Steve that his pain would continue to be managed by medicine and that he would rest well.

Thank you for praying

Larissa

Three years ago today, September 30.

I guess that’s all I wanted to say.

Larissa

“Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.”