Ian has had an incredible week at therapy and at home. His sessions at the hospital on Thursday and Friday were really, really good. He was doing literally everything the therapists were asking him to do, from raising his arm to lifting his leg, to saying yes and no with nods or shakes. On Friday when I was with him his therapist was most impressed when he kicked a ball as it was rolling to him- three times. He saw the ball coming and knew when to kick. That’s a pretty high function cognitively.
Ian has been reaching out for things and people quite often. He’s just communicating a lot better. He is consistently clearly shaking or nodding his head instead of blinking. Tonight I was thinking of how we’ve been praying that he would start eat more and show facial expression, because progress in those areas naturally leads itself to talking. Over the past few days, he has eaten something for every meal and has shown a lot of new facial expressions- including a lot of smiling (if you couldn’t tell from the last pictures I posted.)
Something’s changing in Ian. I hope he breaks through the surface of this soon. I have to guard my heart though, because everything could be different tomorrow.
We’ve been realizing lately how hard it must be for people to understand Ian’s condition now. We get questions from many of you that have brought us to that realization. I’d like to try to summarize his condition for you, so that you can pray more intelligently.
“Coma” was the word we used to use to describe his condition, and, although I think he would still be classified that way, because people tend to associate the word with a kind of sleep, it isn’t a helpful description anymore. He’s awake most of the day; he wasn’t months ago. He is somewhat responsive to us now (mostly to Larissa, to Mary and to Bill) through a long blink for ‘yes’ and some facial expressions; he wasn’t doing any of that before. He is eating some by mouth (maybe 5-10 bites at a meal) supplementing the feeding tube in his stomach; he wasn’t before. He is able to look at things and people and to respond to some requests. He doesn’t speak at all.
He is still in a wheelchair, though physically the only thing that limits his capacity to walk is his fused knee. Apart from the knee, there isn’t anything physically that limits him (e.g. his eyes, voice, joints, muscles, etc., all are physically functional). His face looks the same as it did before. But, we have to care for all of his physical needs, because he can’t care for himself.
His brain, the thing that controls every movement and the thing that was most affected by the car wreck, is what limits him today. It must be very challenging for him to deal with the fact that he can process things in his surroundings, but he can’t respond to them. That’s the focus of his therapy sessions: helping him respond to people and to his surroundings. He is continually working on strengthening his arms and legs. Last night, he was able to reach both arms into the air at the same time. He is working on standing and walking with the help of therapists and machines. He is working on holding his head up. In speech therapy, he continues to work on his eating along with developing a consistent form of communication. They tell us that if he can consistently eat by mouth it will strengthen the muscles that will help him talk again.
It’s hard to believe when I put all this in writing. Some of you only know Ian the way he is now, but that’s not the Ian we remember. We miss him.
After posting this, I decided that I should add a disclaimer. Ian doesn’t exactly love Sullivan County (where I grew up). He can appreciate its beauty (when I force him to) but after a few hours there he’s pretty bored. If it weren’t for my family being there, I don’t think he’d ever visit. My mom bought him this shirt for Easter- I’m assuming partly as a joke and partly serious. If only they still sold those really nice Sullivan County t-shirts with deer and bears on them at Jennings….those would be more appropriate for Ian. Because he loves hunting and fishing…?
Ian has been doing well lately. He’s had good work-outs with Bill this week and has been participating in therapy at the hospital. He’s been eating much more often too. It’s so good to see him motivated to do things.
I recently had a revelation on a very obvious truth, but God often reveals those truths to us when I most need them. When I look to future situations and circumstances and environments that I know will be really hard and full of temptation, I’ve thought “God will give me grace to get through it.” And he will. But that doesn’t mean that it will be easy. God’s grace meeting us doesn’t mean that things won’t be really sorrowful or full of grief or even enjoyable. It’s such a simple truth but I’m not sure how well I’ve grasped it in the past and I still struggle with it now. It’s a hard truth to swallow- I want things to be easy. I still don’t understand why everything has to be hard now.
“What we judge to be tragic- the most dreaded things that could happen, I expect we’ll one day see as the awesome reason for the beauty and uniqueness of our life and our family.”
-Keep a Quiet Heart
Tomorrow we leave for the weekend to go to Marky Persson’s wedding in Virginia. Ian said today that he is looking forward to getting away. Needless to say, there won’t be much activity on the blog. Hopefully Ian and I will be spending lots of time by the hotel pool!
I like to think that Ian is feeling better. Today for the first time we worked on Ian writing on a white board again. He did so much better than he ever had before. He was working on it for about half an hour. He actually didn’t throw the marker down this time and he was able to move his hand to find the board and then write on it for awhile. He was just moving the marker around and making little scribbles, but he was moving his arm farther away from his body than he has in the past. And when I asked him if he wanted to keep doing it, he said yes- twice. He was so concentrated and intentional. It was really encouraging to see him focusing on something like that again.
We also did the communication board and he got the first answer right. It’s been a long, long time since we’ve been able to do that.
Thank you for your prayers. This is a long and wearying road. I often wonder how we will ever make it another day in this trial. And that’s not even from Ian’s perspective. But, there will be grace.
ian has been making good progress during his work-outs with bill. also the other day when his friend called, he held the phone to his ear for quite awhile. usually we hold it for him, but this time he didn’t need help. even little things like that must be encouraging for him.
i miss that face.
come hopeless hearts. do not despair. hide away in the love of jesus.
Question: What is your only comfort in life and death?
Answer: That I with body and soul, both in life and death, am not my own, but belong unto my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ; who, with his precious blood, has fully satisfied for all my sins, and delivered me from all the power of the devil; and so preserves me that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; yea, that all things must be subservient to my salvation, and therefore, by his Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, and makes me sincerely willing and ready, henceforth, to live unto him.
