When I was a little kid growing up in Minnesota (the land of 10,000 lakes), we would regularly hear tragic stories about people falling through the ice into the frigid water. In my little mind, what was most perplexing to me was when pickup trucks or cars would fall through the ice as their owners tried to cross on the ice. I would think, “why would they do something so ridiculous? Don’t they realize that something that heavy could fall through the ice?”
I’ve become so much more aware through this experience with Ian that life is as fragile as that thin ice. People go on with their lives as if their safety and their lives were a sure thing. Activity and schedules and the demands of life drive people on across the ice, and they don’t stop to consider what might happen if the ice breaks. Then, someone does fall through – someone close dies or a car wrecks and lives are torn apart or cancer strikes. I can’t imagine not knowing our kind and merciful Savior. I can’t imagine not knowing that He died to take my sin. I can’t imagine not knowing that because of that death my circumstances are ruled by God for good. I can’t imagine not being assured of heaven. This experience is painful enough; I can’t imagine not having that confidence in the middle of the pain.
Sometimes I wish that I could appeal to the people passing by us to seriously consider what they’re doing. I want to ask them, “what will happen if you fall through the ice as we have? Will you have the assurance that God is weaving all of your circumstances together for good? Do you have the confidence that when you die you will be in heaven?”
Steve
p.s. Ian continues to make very slow progress, and we’re adjusting to the new normal. We are very grateful to have him home with us. Please continue to pray for paid staff for overnight and weekends. Pray that he would talk to us. Thank you.
“…But you are near, O LORD, and all your commandments are true.“
“My brother is in trouble, but you are near, God, and you have not forsaken him. It doesn’t seem like this is a good thing, Father, but all of you commandents are true, and you have promised that you love us and want nothing but what is good for us. Thank you, Jesus, that have proven your love by offering yourself up for our punishment. Thank you that we can know you are near. Amen.”
Ian seems to be making a little bit of progress since he’s been home. I’m sure the familar surroundings are helping.
Please keep praying that this would help us all (especially Ian) know God and his joy better. And pray that Ian would be healed.
I want this to be over. I want this to be over. I want this to be over. That’s what my emotions often tell me and those are the words that often race through my head- I just want us to be out of this trial. But, not surprisingly, writing these words and speaking them doesn’t accomplish anything. But praying does. And asking God to deliver us does, because when we are asking for deliverance from affliction, we are praying in agreement with God’s promises. (Psalm 34:19) He has already delivered me, the Murphys and Ian from much-most importantly, our deliverance from our lives headed straight to hell, and he will deliver us again from the trials of this world.
I admit that I have grown discouraged in my belief that God will heal Ian. I’m stuck on the lack of progress that I can see. I desperately just want Ian to talk to us and hang out with us again. He must be getting bored of hearing my lame stories. I want to pray that we would be surprised soon by God’s power and surprised by the way He heals Ian. I want to keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking, as I know that that honors God and I know that’s what Ian would be doing. And I don’t want to lose sight of the Ian that we know but rather I want to be excited for the day that we see that Ian again.
I wish that I could talk to you to help you process biblically what you’re experiencing. We could talk together and take comfort together from God’s Word. You could remind me again of God’s sovereign hand as I’m sure you would. I wish as your father I could have done something to prevent this; I wish I could have spared you from this. But, I know that there is One who rules over both of us, and I’m sure you would remind of that fact. He knows every detail of our lives. He knows everything we do and everywhere we go. Nothing is outside the view of His watchful eye. Nothing escapes His notice. Nothing is outside His control – not even a car.
I wish that I could remind you – and know that you hear me – that “in this world you will have tribulation. But take heart; [He] has overcome the world.” This was no surprise to God. He knew that we would have this tribulation. He knew long ago what would happen on that road while you drove. Most importantly, though, He took care of you in the most important way before the wreck ever happened by overcoming sin and death and crediting Christ’s righteousness to you and securing a future for you in heaven.
I wish I could listen to you wrestling through your questions to embrace these truths (if you are aware of what’s happening to you). I know that you would, because I’ve listened to you before as the Spirit helped you wrestle through to the truth. I watched with awe as the Spirit changed your heart over the years. You grew to have a passion for Him that was amazing to see.
I wish that I could help you spiritually now, but I know that you’re safe in the Master’s hands. He is taking care of you, and I’m at peace with that knowledge.
Ian smiled at me a few times in a row today. It was the first I’d seen him smile since he was at Lifecare. Very encouraging:) Also, yesterday I was shaving his face and couldn’t get a few spots on his moustache so he took the razor a few times and did it himself. I could tell it was taking a lot of effort to do it, but he did make it up to his moustache where I was telling him to shave. He knew what I was asking him to do.
“But although tribulation is thus the path of God’s children, they have the comfort of knowing that their Master has traversed it before them; they have his presence and sympathy to cheer them, his grace to support them, and his example to teach them how to endure; and when they reach “the kingdom,” it will more than make amends for the “much tribulation” through which they passed to enter it.” -Charles Spurgeon
Please pray that staffing would be found for the weekend shifts. Please pray that he comes back to us fully restored. I miss him.
“This is a strange world we live in: there are not many things that make us happy. Yet somehow we forget the very thing that could give us happiness, and we keep our eyes on the frivolous cares and teasing troubles, which distract us…let us [instead] be as happy as we can*. Trials and troubles will come; do not expect to be free from them.” -Charles Spurgeon
I have to remind myself daily: my joy doesn’t come from a good (easy) life, but my happiness comes from a good God. A god who took the blame for the bad stuff I did, and then gave me credit for the good way he lived. This truth is where my happiness comes from!
When you pray, thank God that we can be happy no matter how hard our lives are. He has given us the happiest news possible!
We are God’s workmanship, in whom he will be glorified by our afflictions. It is for the honour of Jesus that we endure the trial of our faith with sacred joy. Let each man surrender his own longings to the glory of Jesus, and feel, “If my lying in the dust would elevate my Lord by so much as an inch, let me still lie among the pots of earth. If to live on earth for ever would make my Lord more glorious, it should be my heaven to be shut out of heaven.” -Spurgeon
I’ve had the honor of watching Mary, Steve and Larissa walk through the worst trial I can possibly think of for the last 7 months now. I’ve read every post, with all of you, and wondered at the grace that God has poured into their lives day after long day. It has been 7 months full of miracles and sadness and grief, and they have proven to me, through the watching and the reading, that everything that the Scriptures say about God is true.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isa. 41:10
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, not shall the flame scorch you.” Isa 43:2
Because of Steve, Mary and Larissa, I know that He provides whatever His people need when they are suffering. Because of them, I know that He is powerful, beyond belief, because day after difficult day, each of them puts one foot in front of the other, and lives with the praises of God in their hearts and mouths. Because of them, I know, that even in the very worst of circumstances God is, very purposefully, at work in the lives of His beloved children. They have become our teachers, not because they wanted to be, but because God purposed it. And they have been faithful, faithful teachers. And with each passing day, they teach us more about who God is, what He is like, and what He does for His children. What a pleasing aroma their lives are sending up to the Father, day after day after day.
We miss Ian more than words can say. He’s home, and we’re incredibly grateful that God intervened over and over again to save his life and heal his body. But we miss who he was when he left us and we’re aching for the Lord to completely restore him. We miss his voice. We miss his laughter. We miss his humor and wit. We miss his friendship. We miss everything about him, which is a lot because, for anyone who knows him, Ian is quite a presence.
So, I’m asking that, for anyone who reads this blog, would you be willing to double and re-double your prayers to the Father for Ian’s complete return? Would you be willing to ask, seek and knock more and harder. As we have well learned, the prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective and God rewards them who diligently seek Him. Would you be willing to ask the Lord for more faith for more prayer for Ian? Would you be willing to ask the Spirit to remind you more each day? It’s so easy to forget. Would you, especially, pray that He would restore Ian’s ability to talk? I know that it’s a great burden for his parents and Larissa not to know if he’s hurting or uncomfortable or discouraged. We would be so grateful if you would, and God is always pleased with more prayer.
Ian had another good day on Saturday. When he was awake he was pretty alert and he also took some nice naps. We had a little campfire last night that hopefully he enjoyed and we watched some familiar movies and shows with him.
Yesterday morning I was having my devotion time with him and was reading through Genesis. I got to the part about the Tower of Babel and wasn’t sure how to pronounce Babel. So I asked Ian to blink at the right pronunciation. Three times he blinked to the one way I was saying it. I asked Steve how it was pronounced and Ian was blinking to the right one. Not only does that show me that he remembers somewhat obscure things like how to pronounce words, but it shows me that he knew I was reading God’s word to him. I hope it is bringing him comfort and peace.
We’ve seen Ian more alert this week than we ever have at the hospital. Please keep praying with us that this continues and God brings him back to us fully.
For weeks prior to Ian’s return home, we saw very little response to anything that was happening around him and to any attempts at therapy. There would be the occasional spark of life, but nothing like we’ve seen since his return. His eyes are open more frequently, and he focuses more. He holds Larissa’s hand and reaches for her neck occasionally to draw her close for a hug. Tonight he was cooperating in physical therapy with someone that just started with us yesterday; he’d ask Ian to move his arm, for example, and got the appropriate response.
The brain is a mysterious thing. Ian can recognize and respond to Larissa and to us, but he can’t talk. He can give us a long blink in response to a question like, “are you uncomfortable?” But, he can’t quite swallow completely yet. He looks like Ian and has some of the same mannerisms that are so Ian-like. But, I wonder where he is and what he’s thinking and experiencing.
Lord, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. That becomes even more apparent when things don’t work right in our bodies, and we don’t know why. You are the One who designed Ian’s body, and you are the One who knows exactly what’s wrong and how to fix him. You know where he is, and I trust that he’s in your hands. After all, where can he go from your Spirit? If Ian were to take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand would lead him, and your right hand shall hold him. For you formed his inward parts; you knitted him together in his mother’s womb. I praise you for we are fearfully and wonderfully made. [see Ps 139].
