“Mark the error of despair. We should see that the case of a praying man cannot be desperate—that if a man be out of the pit of hell, he is on the ground of grace. We should see that God sees a way of escape when we see none—that nothing is too hard for him—that He warrants our dependence, and invites us to call on Him in the day of trouble, and gives promise of deliverance.” John Newton wrote that. John Piper calls him a “great and tender warrior against despair in other people’s lives. Long trials, like this one that Ian and his family and friends are going through often tempt us to despair. Their response of faith, instead of despair continues to teach us all the truth of what John Newton said hundreds of years ago, and continues to prove that God never changes. He takes perfect care of His people; from Adam and Eve to Ian and his loved ones. In John Piper’s “Life as a Vapor” he tells us that Newton’s favorite poet, George Herbert, lived more than 100 years before him, and then goes on to record one of Herbert’s poems. This is how I want to instruct my own soul:
Away, Despair! My gracious Lord doth hear: Though winds and waves assault my keel, He doth preserve it: He doth steer, Ev’n when the boat seems most to reel: Storms are the triumph of His art: Well may He close His eyes, but not His heart.
Hundreds of years after our brother, George Herbert lived to write that line, our God proves it to be true for His children today. His greatest, most precious, loveliest, and most enduring works are done during the storms of our lives. “…in faithfulness You have afflicted me.” Ps. 119:75. It’s in the storms where our hearts are revealed, and our most loving Father knows that our sin is far more dangerous and deadly to His children than any trial or affliction could ever be. This is a long and hard trial that He’s brought into our friend’s lives; one that I don’t think that I could bear up with the grace and dignity that they have and are. Let’s be hard in prayer against the temptation of despair, while we wait for their son and brother and our friend to wake up.
Mary was with Ian today and said he was moving around a lot as we’ve noticed him doing more in the last week or so. He was in his stander today and appeared to be struggling to reach an area on his body that was bothering him, so Mary put her hand there and made an adjustment or two. He responded by simply not reaching for that spot anymore. One nurse as he was taking care of Ian asked him to lift his arm for some reason, and he did. Twice more the nurse made the same request, and he did it each time. Fairly consistently now, he rubs his nose and eyes and goes for “sleepies” in his eyes. These are small signs of progress.
Here’s a new prayer request: pray that he would talk. He appears to be trying, but he just can’t get it all together to pull it off. He can make noise, though we haven’t heard that in a while, either. Pray that he would make noise with his voice. Pray that he would begin to say words. In fact, pray that one day he could sing and worship again.
Crown Him with many crowns, the Lamb upon His throne.
Hark! How the heavenly anthem drowns all music but its own.
Awake, my soul, and sing of Him who died for thee,
And hail Him as thy matchless King through all eternity.
On one of those days, as he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law were sitting there, who had come from every village of Galilee and Judea and from Jerusalem. And the power of the Lord was with him to heal. 18And behold, some men were bringing on a bed a man who was paralyzed, and they were seeking to bring him in and lay him before Jesus, 19but finding no way to bring him in, because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and let him down with his bed through the tiles into the midst before Jesus. 20And when he saw their faith, he said, “Man, your sins are forgiven you.” Luke 5:17-20
I heard a sermon on this passage several weeks ago from our pastor Joe Ryer. Joe made the point that the friends of the paralytic refused to let any obstacles, large or small, stand in their way. Think about it for a minute. Their friend was paralyzed and probably hadn’t walked for decades, so they hauled him around on a stretcher. People were packed into every crack of the house, making it impossible to get through the door. So they went up onto the roof, cut out a large hole, and then helped their paralyzed friend rappel down into the house. These guys absolutely refused to give up. They clung to hope like a pit bull locks on to a piece of meat. Why? Because they knew who was in the house. They knew that Jesus could heal their friend in an instant. So they pressed on.
I face obstacles when I pray for Ian. I face fears, doubts, and lots of unbelief. But Joe’s message sparked a fire in my heart. I will not let these obstacles stop me from praying for my friend Ian. By God’s grace, I resolve to keep praying, over and over, without fail. I resolve to bring my friend Ian to the Savior again and again. Will you join with me? Let’s resolve to continue pressing through all obstacles and praying for our friend.
We had a great day with Ian today. He was very awake when we got there and really looking at my mom and I. He had another great session of speech therapy and was doing a lot with his left arm. He was reaching for the wires on his face again and he’s still itching his eyes and nose whenever he gets a chance. He was making me laugh this afternoon because when he itches his nose it almost makes his whole torso move. So he would vigorously itch his nose and then quickly turn his head back to where I was and really look at me. It was like he was either saying, I’m trying to tell you something, or wow, this really itches.
He was really awake when we left and that is always tough emotionally. But I just remind him (and myself) that he’s never alone- Jesus is always with him.
Steve got this email today from our neighbor and we wanted to share it with all of you:
I have been following this blog for a long while and was touched by the many beautiful messages that have been posted so far. In many instances, I was compelled to post something of the same but have always been reluctant, afraid that my words will not be up to par nor would they measure up to the beautiful phrases that have been woven together and posted in this blog. But finally, I have decided to put a couple words together, hopefully they shed a light on how we feel toward our lovely neighbors. I want to start with a prayer that puts me to tears anytime I read it or hear it being read: the FOOTPRINTS:
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord, and across the skies flashed scenes from his life. In each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One was his, and one was the Lord’s. When the last scene of his life appeared before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand, and, to his surprise, He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. And He noticed that it was at the lowest and saddest times in his life. He asked the Lord about it: “Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you would walk with me all the way. But I notice that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why you left my side when I needed you most.” The Lord said: “My precious child, I never left you during your time of trial. Where you see only one set of footprints, I was carrying you.”
May God send the angels to put the Murphy’s on their wings, to carry them during this challenging time so when they look back and see no footprints they know the goodness in them that God sent his angels to carry them.
May God hold and embrace the Murphy’s during this ordeal so we may all one day look back and say “Thank you God for enabling us to see the goodness in you that we were not able to see before”.
May God help bring Ian into the beautiful creature that God created him to be so one day he may look back and say “Thanks God for carrying me through the time of trial and suffering”. In God’s name I pray.
-Azad (on behalf of my lovely wife Selar and our precious baby daughter Vania)
When we stopped in to see Ian today, he has just gotten back into bed. I took his hand braces off so that he would hopefully use his arm a little bit. He definitely did, by itching his nose and his eyes. And he very deliberately wiped “sleepies” out of the corner of his eyes. He used one finger to do it in a way that it seemed so purposeful. It was really exciting and encouraging to see. Now if he would just start talking!
The addition looks great- the walls are plastered. It’s looking more and more like a room. Lydia and I were taking a walk through it tonight, and just started talking about Ian and how we miss him. Lydia said “Ian is going to dance with you, when he feels better.” She also said that she’s going to sleep in his room with him- I can’t wait for him to hear her voice every day again.
I’ve been reading through the gospels and am amazed again and again that not only did God send Jesus to die for me, but He has given me a wonderful life here on earth. Even though we are sinners, deserving of hell, in His infinite love he gives us even more than just salvation. He comforts us in affliction and promises to deliver us. He provides for our every need- we are never in want. He allows us to glorify Himself and become more like Christ. He allows us to grow and be fruitful and reveals himself to us more and more each day. And it is all because of the cross. How I long to grow in my understanding and love for the cross. When we focus on the cross, every fear, every trial, every doubt quickly fades. It is at the foot of the cross that the greatest love for us is shown and it as at the foot of the cross that our hope is found.
I helped with our addition today. Watching it take shape (and so quickly) is really sad for me. I never wanted an addition; it’s just a painful reminder of Ian’s condition. Don’t misunderstand: we’re incredibly grateful for all that everyone has given to us and for all the ways people have served us. But, he needs this. I just want Ian back the way he was.
What has amazed me from the beginning, though, is what seems to be a paradox in my experience: this sadness and grief that I experience coexist with joy and peace. It seems that it would be like describing someone as big and little or water as hot and cold. In reality, underneath the topsoil of sadness and grief (which runs deep), there’s the bedrock of the cross of Christ to which I and my family, including Ian, have responded in faith. Because He called us to be his own and through the cross made us His own, God has good in store for us. “I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!” (Ps. 27:13). That bedrock doesn’t crumble under the weight of grief; in fact, it bears the weight of grief well. It’s the cross and it’s declaration of the Lord’s favor for me and my family that gives me peace. I can even laugh and have fun in the middle of my pain, because I know that there’s a bedrock beneath it that will sustain me.
Don’t forget to share your favorite Ian story in the previous post. We’ve enjoyed those.
One day this summer, Ian and I were walking down a street in Lancaster, where he was living for the summer. A buggy went by with a man in it. Immediately I had a thought that I should have kept as a thought, but instead I said it out loud. “Is that a mannequin?” That was all the bait that Ian needed to latch on. In typical Ian fashion, for at least the next five minutes, he convinced me that yes, in fact there were mannequins driving buggies around Lancaster. Somehow, somewhere in my brain it made sense that it really could be a mannequin- if there ever was a guy that looked exactly like a mannequin, it was the one that I just saw. Logic told me it wasn’t possible, but I trusted that what Ian told me was true. Relationships are based around trust! But that was my first mistake- if you know Ian’s sense of humor, you know that he should rarely be trusted in a situation like that.
Ian finally gave in and let me know the truth- probably because the thought of dating someone who believed a mannequin could drive a buggy was too much for him to bear. I probably punched him in the arm for keeping the lie giong for so long, and then I got over it- so it’s now become a good joke between us.
If you have any classic Ian moments, add them as a comment to this entry. It’s good to remember who we’re praying for.
Ian’s mouth is healing so much. It looks so much better than it did a few weeks ago. His doctor has concluded that the yeast is gone from his mouth, as well as the other infection that he had. There is a either still an unknown infection hanging around somewhere or his mouth simply becomes sore from him breathing through his mouth all of the time. Either way, it is looking much better. Thank you so much for all of your prayers for that specific need.
Two women from our church went to visit Ian today and reported that he looked great. They hadn’t seen him for a few weeks and said that he was wide awake and looking good!
For the past few days, I’ve had “On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand” running through my head. What a blessing for God to bring this song to my mind that I may meditate on it:
My hope is built on nothing less, Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, But wholly lean on Jesus’ Name.
When darkness seems to hide His face, I rest on His unchanging grace. In every high and stormy gale, My anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, His covenant, His blood, Support me in the whelming flood. When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.
On Christ the solid rock I stand, All other ground is sinking sand,
Much around my soul has given way, and many of my earthly props have been removed. Among many things, the comfort of always having my best friend and boyfriend available to be with me, talk to me and console me is not here right now. But this is where I should be, more aware that it is on Christ alone that I stand and in Christ alone where my hope is found. How good it is to meditate on Christ’s unchanging grace.
“Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.” Romans 5:2
“Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The Lord is on my side as my helper…it is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.” – Psalm 118:5-7
The words “The Lord is on my side” are such a comfort. Romans 8:31 puts it this way: “God is for us”. Think about that for a minute. God is for us. The Sovereign Maker of the universe, who has authority over angels and demons and rulers and nations and wind and waves and viruses and the smallest of molecules, is for us. We who are “accounted as dust on the scales…as less than nothing and emptiness” (Isaiah 40:15,17) have the almighty, risen Christ on our side.
What do we have to fear? God is for us, on our side, and is therefore exerting all of his sovereign power for our good and his glory.
God is for Ian! Oh, it seems like there is so much against Ian right now. But God is on Ian’s side! Jesus Christ, the living and ruling Lord, is working on Ian’s behalf at this very minute. “God is for us”. This is our hope. This is Ian’s hope. When all is said and done our hope isn’t in doctors, or medicine, or hospitals (and believe me, we are so very grateful for all of these). Our hope is in the fact that Jesus Christ is on our side.
“I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe…” — Ephesians 1:17-19
Mary went to visit Ian today. Larissa and I were both sick, so we stayed away. We didn’t want to get him sick. Mary said he had a really good day. He was very alert and responsive. During speech therapy he reached up to grab the “e-stim” wires from his throat. Mary said they actually had to pull his fingers away from the wires so he wouldn’t pull them off. The speech therapist has a little vibrating gadget that stimulates the nerves in his face, and he doesn’t like it. He was pushing it away. He also reached up and rubbed his eye. All these small things are very big for us and for Ian, because they convince us he’s in there.
This is the hardest thing we’ve ever experienced…but I still trust God. I’ve watched him provide for us at the last minute. I’ve watched him save people I was praying for. I’ve watched him work out circumstances in ways that amazed me. “No proof is so convincing as experience. No one doubts the power of prayer after receiving an answer of peace. It is the distinguishing mark of the true and living God that He hears and answers the pleas of His people” (Spurgeon). We’ve experienced his peace, His power, His provision, His mercy, His love. I don’t know what will happen with Ian, but I trust God.
Send up your pleas to the true and living God for Ian. He hears and answers.
