I assume most of us know the story of Joseph, right? Joseph was his father Israel’s (also known as Jacob) favorite son. But Joseph’s brother’s hated him, selling him into slavery, and telling Israel that Joseph was dead; killed by a wild animal. For years, Israel mourned the death of his beloved son. However, as Israel mourned, God was at work. God took Joseph from being a slave in Egypt to being Pharaoh’s right hand man. As the second most powerful man in Egypt, Joseph prepared the country for seven years famine that were coming. The famine came to not only Egypt, but also to Canaan, the land where Israel and his remaining sons lived. Israel sent his sons to Egypt to buy grain and in God’s sovereignty they did so from Joseph. As the story of Joseph and Israel comes to an end, the two are reunited and Joseph brings his two sons to meet their grandfather. As Israel, now an old man nearing death, embraces his grandsons he says, “I never expected to see your face [Joseph]; and behold, God has let me see your offspring also.” (Gen. 48:11)
For years, Israel thought his son was dead. He had come to accept the perceived reality that Joseph was dead. But as he mourned, he had no idea all the good that God was accomplishing through Joseph. Here’s the reality: God used Joseph in Egypt to save the lives of his entire family. Had there not been food available in Egypt (which Joseph was responsible for), Israel and all of his sons and daughters would have perished in the famine. Israel assumed he would die without seeing Joseph again, God had other plans.
Right now, it feels like we’ll never see Ian again the way he was. As we see Ian lying in his bed, unable to talk or walk or laugh or make hilarious, sarcastic remarks, it seems like the old Ian is gone. It seems like we’ll “never see his face” again. In many ways, it feels like the old Ian is dead.
But, like Israel, we have no idea all the good God is accomplishing in this. And, we can’t begin to imagine what the future holds. We serve a God who loves to surprise his people. We serve a God who raises the dead. How kind is Jesus? Not only did he allow Israel to be reunited with his son, he also allowed Israel to see his grandsons! Oh, let’s look forward to what the future holds! Though things seem bleak right now, though things seem as if they’ll never change, let’s look beyond the “reality” of the situation to the REALITY of our great God and Savior!
“Glory to God, the raiser of the dead… Glory to God, the lifter of my head…”
Ian was wide awake when I got to the hospital this afternoon. He seemed much more aware than he had the past few days. He was scratching his nose and his chin with his left hand. He was moving his left foot around a lot too and it looked like maybe it was itching. It was a very refreshing visit with him- when he was awake, he was awake. And when he was asleep, it was a very peaceful sleep. It was great because I snuck a Sunday afternoon nap in there too when we fell asleep watching the Travel channel.
Steve thanked several people on his post this morning who have donated supplies and time to the addition project. But there are many more who have been serving the Murphy’s through financial gifts, and for that we are very grateful and very blessed.
“If none of God’s saints were poor and tried, we should not know half so well the consolations of divine grace…God’s grace is illustrated and magnified in the poverty and trials of believers. Saints bear up under every discouragement, believing that all things work together for their good, and that out of apparent evils a real blessing shall ultimately spring- that their God will either work a deliverance for them speedily or most assuredly support them in the trouble, as long as He is pleased to keep them in it. This patience of the saints proves the power of divine grace.”
Norm Burns and Doug Brown were putting up the facia and gutters on the addition on Saturday. So many people have helped us, and so many businesses have given us materials. At some point, I’d like to publish a list of all the businesses that have helped us. I don’t think I could produce the long list of people who have helped us. It would be impossible to remember. I can’t tell you how grateful we are.
The electricity and the plumbing were started and nearly finished. The walls for the rooms are up. The soffit, facia, and gutters were started and nearly finished. Our house is chaos. I’m not complaining. 🙂 It’s the “new normal” in Larissa’s words.
I was only with Ian for about an hour tonight and he seemed to be having another sluggish day. He was half awake, but wasn’t really focusing with his eyes and didn’t really seem aware that we were with him. But he looks so much like himself and it’s such a blessing to be with him and hold his hand.
I often wonder what we look like from the outside. The other day I saw a patient who appears to be in a condition similar to Ian. I saw some of her family with her and was overwhelmed with pity for them. And then I realized that I’m the same as them- I just can’t see it. Sometimes I think though that it may be sadder looking from the outside. It might be sadder for people who only know Ian as he is now. The man that I fell in love with is still very much alive to me. When I’m pushing him in his chair, when I’m watching him in therapy, when I’m reminding him why he’s in a hospital, I’m with the same person who asked me on our first date last November. I don’t always see the wheelchair- I see my boyfriend. Being able to see Ian like this is only possible through God’s grace. I know the weakness of my own heart, but “He is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
I don’t want to believe that the man that I love is gone or that Mary and Steve’s son as they know him to be is gone. I pray for faith to continue believing that he is with us now and will be until God fully restores him. And I’m praying for faith that if Ian doesn’t come back to us fully, our futures are still good and we will someday see him in heaven, completely healed. No matter what happens, Ian is a part of our lives. We will continue to love him through the love that God has given us.
“What joy above all joys to know that I am His everlasting and inalienable inheritance, given to Him by His father before the earth was formed! Everlasting love shall be the pillow on which I rest my head tonight.” -Spurgeon
…and the roof is on. It’s coming along thanks to so many kind and hard working volunteers and generous donors of materials. Soon the interior walls will be up and the doors hung. The plumbing and electricity are supposed to be started tomorrow.
Larissa returned tonight with the news that Ian had a sluggish day today. Those are hard days. We keep hoping for the good days when he’s awake and alert and doing something new to show us he’s in there. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” We look forward to the day when we can get him around his family all the time and in familiar surroundings.
Pretty harsh, huh? But the bible doesn’t stop here, there’s good news! Jesus took the blame for my lack of good (). Now, I know that nothing that happens to us is bad (in the long run):
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good” (Romans 8:28).
So now I understand why “bad things happen to good people.” They don’t.
“Bad things happen to bad people,” and when we trust in Jesus, “[only] Good things happen to bad people.”
I can take comfort in the fact that what is happening to me is not ultimately bad, and even if it was, that’s what I deserve. I am so thankful for Jesus’ substitute for me!
At the Children’s Institute, they have what they call a standing board. They put Ian on his stomach on this thing, and it tilts at different angles. The “top” part has a pad for his chin. The “bottom” part has a place for his feet. They strap him into it and tilt it so he’s “standing.” He does that for an hour a day now as part of his therapy.
The staff reported to Mary today that he was able to respond to their command to “kick” a ball. It’s more like a movement of his foot forward to tap a ball. He responded slowly the first time, but he was consistently responding to their command to kick the ball. “Purposeful” is the word they keep using to describe the responses their looking for from Ian. The kicking was definitely purposeful; that’s a good thing.
This is the view now looking outside our dining room. Our whole dining room is covered in blue light. What you’re seeing is the cement floor for the addition covered by a tarp tent. There’s a giant heater blowing heat into our tent to dry the cement. The addition is coming along.
Larissa reported today that the wound on Ian’s back is finally gone! They’ve stopped treating it, but they’re still going to be careful of the site just to be safe.
I brought a home video to the hospital tonight for Ian to watch. The first thing on screen when I turned it on in his room was a banner that said “Happy 6th Birthday Ian.” It was bittersweet to watch- it was so cool to see him and all of his little friends who have now become such godly men and are still in his life- and let’s be honest, the early 90s hairstyles and clothes were fantastic. But it also reminded me that he could do more at six years old than he can do now. But fortunately we are blessed to serve a God who, if He wills it, can bring Ian back to us exactly how he was five months ago- as that man after God’s own heart. I’m praying that he’s back to himself by the time he turns 22.
So I’m watching videos and sitting beside Ian’s bed while he sleeps, but tonight my heart is here, with this little girl:
“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith–that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”Ephesians 3:14-19
The only time that Ian was really awake today was when I was reading this scripture to him and praying. I was lifting Ian and myself up to God, praying that he would give us just another glimpse of the beadth, length, height and depth of His love. God’s word is so good and will never return void. I am so thankful for the opportunity to remind Ian of God’s beautiful promises.
I desperately want to hear Ian tell me something, anything, of where he has been for the past four months. I want assurance that my boyfriend is able to feel the nearness of the Lord. I want to know that he is not lonely but can feel God with him at all times. But he can’t tell me, and this is just one more area where faith enters the picture. And as Ben said in such a great way, if Ian is conscious and is aware of things, then God is definitely with him, because He promises that He will never leave nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). And even if Ian is just sleeping and won’t even remember this time, God is still with him.
Keep praying that Ian comes back. I desperately want him back here with us.
