We’re speaking at a conference this fall in western PA for caregivers and family members with disabled loved ones. If you’re local and the topic is fitting to you, we’d love to see/meet you!

Click here for more details!

last week we welcomed our newest nephew into the world and were again reminded of just how intricately God works.

life has been full with showers and weddings and that little thing called a manuscript that’s due terrifyingly soon.

with that and our vacation coming up next week, the blog will be silent for awhile. we’re hoping to plow through the remaining work on our book with a goal of august being for relaxing, so you may not hear from us until then.

we’re not taking the ramp on vacation this year to get into the house – a huge step for us. pray that God would keep ian healthy on vacation and that he would have lots of strength especially with walking up and down the stairs.

thank you, always.
i&l

“i start to get upset about the small things in life and then i think of you guys and i’m filled with gratefulness for all that i have.”

i know what they’re trying to say. but what they’re trying to say is not what i hear.

“sometimes i think my life is hard but then i think about you and realize that you have it much worse than me. then that makes me grateful for all of the prosperity i have in my own life because at least my life isn’t as bad as yours.”

that’s what i hear.

i try not to hear that, try not to have thoughts that twist someone’s intended encouragement.

but it’s hard to respond to my husband’s suffering when we’re told we’re a source of someone’s gratefulness. because then I walk around thinking that people are looking at us and thanking God, or their version of a god, that they’re not as messed up as we are. that inherently makes us a victim.

we want to be driven to thankfulness. but we don’t want people to be thankful because they don’t have trials “as bad as ours,” because some day they might and then that crutch that was built will be gone. that comparison, that “at least its not this,” sets our heart on a best case scenario instead of on God, with whom there are no best case scenarios – only sovereignty.

i want to be thankful that we have a god so big even the winds and the waves obey Him. when people see us, i want them to be thankful because they see a god that redeems and upholds and a god that sits on His throne. to derive gratefulness from comparison, to maintain the “there are starving kids in Africa” mentality makes the children a victim or object of pity and sets us up for failure when the starvation comes to our families because of adultery, or car accidents, or heartbreak.

to build our thankfulness on comparison and anything other than God himself will only deprive us of the joy that is to be found in deeply-rooted thanksgiving.

i’m praying that i get to that root myself, because the comparisons i make are a costly habit.

thank you, always
L

ian was back on a four-wheeler for the first time today – which means our trips to the country just got a lot more exciting. he’s either getting a lot stronger or we’re getting more daring with driving a golf cart and riding a four wheeler becoming newfound activities.

the pool opened this weekend, which means upcoming date nights with chlorine and pizza. i’m praying that ian can walk into the pool this year instead of riding in on a wheelchair.

i asked ian if we could request prayer for his motivation. he’s working hard – but only when he wants to. i know that only God can keep him motivated and engaged and aware of a greater purpose. we would love any prayers for that specifically.

“my forgetfulness is the problem. it’s running rampant. i have trouble remembering the goal. I need God’s power in my life.” – Ian

thank you,
i&l

today’s gift is graduation of a brother and families to love. today’s gift is Ian driving his brothers in a golf cart around a golf course, finally able to be back on the greens after seven years.

today’s gift is sitting here on the porch as the nephew and nieces sleep, knowing that God has and continues love.

this is for myself, a reminder for when the next day comes that was like the last. a reminder on the next day that i don’t know how to enjoy with a brain injury and the day that the things he used to do are all that i see. this is a reminder for the next time my mind has my bags packed and i wonder how i will keep loving.

there is someone who has already swallowed up my marriage and someone who has already swallowed up my loss. it has been finished and so i can wait with my husband, tearfully, and know that my way has already been made for me. i can wake in the morning with mercies that don’t seem new and know that this has already been done for me.

it was done before i was born. done before i knew him. before mrs. murphy.

i can keep making my way in hope because He has made me His own.

i can know that this has nothing to do with me. but instead, Him.

ian went to church this week without his wheelchair. he walked into the new building for the first time with his walker and devon helping behind him.

we’re thankful for the progress that he’s making and hope that it continues.

thank you, for praying.

i&l

this weekend, I spoke to 2,200 incredible and encouraging women of Philadelphia. Ian joined us by Skype and I only wish that we could be back there.