Ian was awake today for most of the afternoon. He fell asleep around 5pm, and I never roused him again before I left about an hour later. To see him in that state is draining emotionally. While I have confidence in the kindness, goodness and wisdom of God to do the best thing in his circumstances, I know we’re built by God to love and to grieve when the ones we love are taken from us whether by death or departure or, in this case, by a coma. I’ve discovered first hand that sorrow and grief are draining. But, God lifts me up as the Psalmist says in so many places. “He restores my soul.”
I’ve had a growing sense of satisfaction, lately, about the strength of Ian’s faith; it’s been consoling. I obviously haven’t been able to observe it in Ian, since he can’t talk to me. But, as I’ve had the opportunity to get to know Larissa Whiteley (who has been living with us since the wreck), as I’ve watched her respond to this very difficult circumstance with faith and as I’ve read her very meaningful and theologically sound posts on this blog, I’m aware from things she’s said to me that Ian had a lot to do with her responses today. Ian had a significant influence on her growth in faith by challenging her attitudes and decisions, teaching her truth, and encouraging her as she pursued God. I know Ian trusts Christ to save him, and I know that he was growing in his faith prior to his wreck. But, observing her faith up close and personal provides me a unique perspective on Ian’s faith, a window into his faith that I might not have had. I would have preferred not to peer into that window this way, but it means a lot to me to have the opportunity. Thank you, Larissa. God is good.
The area for the addition to our house (for Ian) has been cleared, and the footer and the ditch for the sewer line were dug today. So many from the church have been volunteering their time and giving so much. Thanks, Frank, for organizing this and Donna, for the food. Dave and Max, thanks again. Rod was here working, too. A guy I’d never met before, Chris, volunteered his time, too. Thanks, Chris! If I keep thanking everyone here who helps with this, I will definitely bore you to tears.
We learned today that the thrush in Ian’s mouth isn’t necessarily there anymore. But, they found the same powerful bacteria (it resists many antibiotics) in his mouth that was in his eye and on some of his wounds. The staff treated those other areas, but the same thing emerged in his mouth.
“The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” I was thinking about this passage today from Philippians 4:5-6. It captured my thoughts, and I was trying to phrase it in a different way and apply it to our situation with Ian: The Lord is all over this one. He’s not far off. He’s very much involved. He’s on top of it. It hasn’t escaped his notice a bit. Because he’s at hand, I’m to obey the command, “do not be anxious about anything.” “In everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving,” I need to let my requests be made known to God.
This is the same thing Ian needs to do.
Jesus, help Ian to continue to be in faith. Heal him from head to toe. Bring him back to us. Thank you that we can come to you with our requests. Thank you that you rule over our circumstances. Help us to continue to lay our requests at your feet. Help us not to be anxious about anything.
In one day, eight guys from the church put up the frame of our addition along with the roof and the tar paper. Pretty incredible. Stuff is happening so fast with this that I can’t keep up. Thank you all for all your kindness!
I saw Ian today. It was good to see him getting therapy instead of being treated for the wound on his back.
We still don’t really know the cause of the nastiness in his mouth. I don’t want to describe what I saw a couple days ago. Apparently, it’s not the yeast that was there before, nor is it the other bacteria that plagued his other wounds. Please pray that they figure out what it is or that it just goes away.
At this point (as I understand it), other than his mouth there are no medical issues preventing therapy, so he’s getting a full dose of it now. Please pray for a continued healing of his brain injury. Pray that he would recognize us more. Pray that he would respond to the therapists’ commands consistently. Pray that he would make some more significant strides in his recovery. Pray that he could begin to eat solid foods. Pray for Ian.
Right now, my older brother is lying in a hospital bed enduring a coma that has taken up the last six months of his life. It seems to me like a bleak situation, it seems like there’s no point to this. There’s nothing more we can do to help him get out of it.
But then I realize this is a perfect opportunity for me to see God in greater, more accurate way. When I can’t do anything, that’s when I see the reality that I’m a dependent person, and my only choice is to rely on God, anyway. This is when I’m reminded God is in control of everything, and he knows what he’s doing (Romans 8:28).
April 20th is the hospital’s target date for when he’ll finally come home to the handicap-accessible addition our church built for him. He can come home as soon as we build a driveway around the house to his room.
But join me in praying that he won’t need the addition. Pray that he’ll be able to walk home.
Ian’s hospital stay is so close to being over. He’s coming home on Monday which happens to be the 30th- exactly seven months to the day since his accident. I have such a weird emotional response to him coming home because thinking about the end of his time in a hospital reminds me of the beginning, and all of the places that we’ve been. All of the meetings with doctors, case workers, and therapists. All the nights slept in the ICU waiting room, all of the creepy trips through Wilkinsburg to get to LifeCare, and all of the hours spent on 286 getting to Children’s. We are so thrilled to have him home. He can sit around the dinner table with us, hear Lydia laughing and screaming, come outside with us, and come to church with us.
I never thought that Ian would still be in a coma when he came home, but then again, after the first few days in the hospital we didn’t think he’d come home again at all. Praise God for all of the countless miracles He has performed in Ian’s life. Ian is still with us! God is forever true to His promises and, as Charles Spurgeon says so well, God would sooner cease to be than cease to be faithful.
We are bringing Ian home with or without the driveway. Please pray that the driveway would be completed soon however, to make transportation more convenient. The agency we are hoping to use seems to really be working on getting the amount of staffing together that we need. They are tentatively going to hire a family friend, Frank, to be a full-time worker with Ian. Please continue to pray that funding and staffing would be approved for 24/7 care.
Thank you for faithfully praying with us for seven months
I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
I prefer the spring. The leaves are coming out, and the birds are coming back. It’s usually not too hot, and it’s not too cold. Unfortunately, though, I can’t have spring all the time. Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes that “for everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” Following this statement, there are a series of pairs, one of which is positive and the other negative. In chapter 3:4, for example, he says that there is “a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” In every case, I’d prefer one over the other, but “the Preacher” tells me that there is a time for every matter under heaven. He gives spring, and he gives winter. There is a time to weep, and there is a time to laugh. I only want the “good” stuff, but he also gives me the “bad” stuff. In verse 14, he writes, “God has done it, so that people fear before him.” In other words, God has ordered things this way, so we would recognize whose world this really is and where we fit into it. My responsibility is to gratefully submit to his will no matter what season it is knowing that he could have given me an eternity of something worse than winter. Because of Christ’s work for me and for Ian, though, the best season is still to come.
Yesterday, when Lydia got up from her nap, she wasn’t very cheerful, and Ian reached out his hand and put it on her back as if to comfort her. He still doesn’t talk to us, though. It’s very confusing.
Please pray for continuing wisdom for us and all the therapists who visit Ian and all those who care for Ian. Pray for Ian.
1 Peter 1:3-7 According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, as was necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire – may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
I long for heaven. There the good that I’ll experience is not temporary or fleeting or fading or tainted by trials. Here on earth, any good is temporary. Car wrecks taint life. Things are taken away from us. We don’t always experience things we would prefer. My emotional investment and the focus of my faith can’t be the things of this life, but my hope has to be in that imperishable inheritance that’s kept in heaven for me. So many dreams and things and relationships throw me off and distract my longing for heaven. I need to hold out for what’s best; I need to hold out for heaven.
Ian had a lazy day today. He wasn’t very alert and was tired most of the day. We were told at the Children’s Institute that his recovery process would include days like this along with the active days. He slept a lot, and that’s good. He’s recovering.
God has been very kind to us. I was working with Ian for about 15 minutes with his communication today. I had a board in front of him and would ask him questions. He had two answers to choose from and a spoon to point to the right answer with. He got every question right. This is something that the therapists have been working with him on, and their hard work is paying off. Some of the questions that I asked (and that he got right) were, where did you go for your internship last year, which tv show has jerry, elaine, george and kramer as characters, what month is my birthday, etc. But the best was when he remembered where we went for our first date.
There are a lot of ideas out there about faith, but so many of the ideas aren’t helpful. So many ideas only obscure my view of God. The eyes of my faith can’t focus on the object of my immediate desire which in this case would be for Ian to be healed. No amount of verbal or mental claims for his healing will actually bring Ian back. I also can’t focus on how much faith I have for that desired outcome, carefully adjusting my wording or my thought life to get the right formula. If Ian’s return is dependent on how much “faith” I can muster (I have to be honest), we’ll never see his return. My focus must remain on the only One who is almighty, who can do whatever he desires, yet who is kind and merciful and all-wise.
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Lord, help me to keep my eyes fixed on you. Let me rest in your wise care and strong arms. Life is hard, but our days are in your hands. One day this will all be over, and we’ll eat and have fellowship with you for eternity. The meal is ready. I can’t wait.
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Ian is struggling, it seems. I’m not sure why. Please pray for encouragement and motivation. Thank you for standing with us.
