Blog Category: “God Himself”

fraudulent

By admin,

“you shouldn’t have said that today, maybe that sounded harsh, you’re assuming a heart motive, that’s not believing the best of that person, you’re angry again, you’re inpatient again,” the voices in my heart and in my head drone on all day.

eventually my body sits to write – to be the means of a story God has written that has nothing to do with myself.

a calendar with dates for talking to people in public, at retreats, conferences – who am i to have this place?

my sins rattle throughout my brain all day and tell me that this is fraud.

that this experience, this public story we’re telling, is not worthy of being told by me. that my sin somehow cancels out anything God would do through us.

that this husband, so sweet and foundational should have more than this sinning wife.

“the Lord your God is in your midst; a might one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exalt over you with loud singing.” – zephaniah 3:17

my God still rejoices over me. he will quiet me.

so humbly and dependently we make our way.

“Who, oh Lord, could save themselves,
Their own soul could heal?
Our shame was deeper than the sea
Your grace is deeper still”

  Filed under: "God Himself", "marriage", "the dross"
  Comments: None

called, for the glory of God

By admin,

“Paul, called by the will of God, to be an apostle of Christ Jesus” 1 Cor. 1:1
reading tonight, and listening to a teaching, and thinking of how Paul was called to be an apostle, and how as Christians we are called to a purpose for the glory of God – this strikes us.
this week  on vacation, we don’t have a caregiver with us and we don’t have murphy brothers with us who know just how to care for ian. and while it can be tiring, taking care of ian is what fills me, and teaches me, and humbles me and moves me toward heaven. when i have days with just ian, i am completed much differently than days at my office.
tonight as we read with the rain falling on the leaves outside, and as we draw nearer to our book really happening, and as we look at requests for speaking, our purposes become a little bit clearer.
this marriage, this hard and magnificent marriage, is to what we are called.
ian murphy, called to be a disabled husband, for the glory of God.
larissa murphy, called to be a wife, for the glory of God.
“but now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel,
Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.”

  Filed under: "God Himself", "marriage"
  Comments: None

an ordinary day. An extraordinary god.

By admin,

over the past 12 hours, our story has been watched more than 86,000 times. this is astounding. and to ian in particular, it is worth it: “i would do this (disability) all over again if i knew it would affect this many people. god is glorious.”

and so here we are, knowing that literally thousands of people just today have hopefully somehow seen god through our marriage. that in itself is mind-blowing. because it is so not of us. we are so very ordinary. tonight is so very ordinary. ian is napping. the rain is pouring outside and the washer downstairs is spinning. the poor clothes in the washer probably won’t get switched until I get home from work tomorrow. and by that time, they’ll need to be re-washed. i can’t see the floor of our bedroom, our laundry completely taking over. i’m putting off making dinner, even though all it requires is putting leftovers on a plate and into the microwave.

and yet, in the midst of this ordinary, the weight of what has happened today through this video and what will continue to happen pummels me. it pummels me because what god is accomplishing through our afflictions is happening at the same time that we are sinning. What a great divide that crosses. What wretched sinners Ian and I are, and yet somehow, He uses us to magnify himself. Our sin does not prevent god’s glory on display.

on days like this, we get just a glimpse of this promised eternal weight of glory, as undeserved as it is, and it is enough to bring us to our knees. how great this weight will be in heaven!

one thing that we love and hold so close on days like this is that our dad, steve, now feels and knows that weight of glory. he prepared us so well and we can’t wait to see him again. one of the biggest impressions on my heart the few days after he died was that he was seeing fully. and that he would encourage us to press on, because it is beyond worth it.

thank you, all. in the words of my dear husband, god is awesome.

i&l

  Filed under: "God Himself"
  Comments: None

He followed us

By admin,

she came to visit us, our life photographer, on a warm summer day to take photos to be on the inside flap of a book that was being scripted each evening after dinner.

that day was the first time he could do this,

stand next to me, with just my hand helping him, not with my arm around him, like we needed to in all of the photos from this day

 
where my arm was hidden around his back, helping him, balancing him, and we couldn’t stand and simply hold hands.
this summer came to ian in strength, upgrading to a walker, and then a cane and committing to walking by year 30. he left the house without a wheelchair for the first time and he walked out the front doors of his mom’s house for the first time.
2013 was a big year.
yet, on a day that becomes reflective for so many of us, that’s not what i most see.
what i most see is a hard-fought year, with fears and exposure and costs and crying and days sitting in front of a blank computer screen wondering why we signed a contract- that were all swallowed up by what was following us. by what was behind us and before us. 
it was a year swallowed up in God.
it was a year that He swallowed us up, taking our inadequacies that were asked to put our story into 75,000 words, our legs that were asked to learn to walk again, our hearts that at times wanted out.
He followed us with mercy, and made our hopeless mornings and our sweet, quiet date nights and our laughter at his inappropriate jokes into beautiful life canvases.
He followed us with His goodness, keeping us, with his white-knuckle grip.
He blessed us, with two new nieces and nephews, bring number seven and eight into our hearts that four years ago didn’t know that type of love.
He kept us, in each other, faithful and honorable to our covenant.
And all that we were given in Him will continue to be, so that this coming year that looms with exposure as our feebly written pages will be carried home in shopping bags and delivered with the mailman won’t be faced apart from mercy. Or Himself. Or joy, in the most unexpected places.
He will follow us, and someday, someday hopefully soon, we will dwell in His house, forever.
With love,
I&L

  Filed under: "God Himself", "marriage", gratefulness
  Comments: 19

fraudulent

By admin,

“you shouldn’t have said that today, maybe that sounded harsh, you’re assuming a heart motive, that’s not believing the best of that person, you’re angry again, you’re inpatient again,” the voices in my heart and in my head drone on all day.

eventually my body sits to write – to be the means of a story God has written that has nothing to do with myself.

a calendar with dates for talking to people in public, at retreats, conferences – who am i to have this place?

my sins rattle throughout my brain all day and tell me that this is fraud.

that this experience, this public story we’re telling, is not worthy of being told by me. that my sin somehow cancels out anything God would do through us.

that this husband, so sweet and foundational should have more than this sinning wife.

“the Lord your God is in your midst; a might one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exalt over you with loud singing.” – zephaniah 3:17

my God still rejoices over me. he will quiet me.

so humbly and dependently we make our way.

“Who, oh Lord, could save themselves,
Their own soul could heal?
Our shame was deeper than the sea
Your grace is deeper still”

  Filed under: "God Himself", "marriage", "the dross"
  Comments: None

called, for the glory of God

By admin,

“Paul, called by the will of God, to be an apostle of Christ Jesus” 1 Cor. 1:1
reading tonight, and listening to a teaching, and thinking of how Paul was called to be an apostle, and how as Christians we are called to a purpose for the glory of God – this strikes us.
this week  on vacation, we don’t have a caregiver with us and we don’t have murphy brothers with us who know just how to care for ian. and while it can be tiring, taking care of ian is what fills me, and teaches me, and humbles me and moves me toward heaven. when i have days with just ian, i am completed much differently than days at my office.
tonight as we read with the rain falling on the leaves outside, and as we draw nearer to our book really happening, and as we look at requests for speaking, our purposes become a little bit clearer.
this marriage, this hard and magnificent marriage, is to what we are called.
ian murphy, called to be a disabled husband, for the glory of God.
larissa murphy, called to be a wife, for the glory of God.
“but now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel,
Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.”

  Filed under: "God Himself", "marriage"
  Comments: None

an ordinary day. An extraordinary god.

By admin,

over the past 12 hours, our story has been watched more than 86,000 times. this is astounding. and to ian in particular, it is worth it: “i would do this (disability) all over again if i knew it would affect this many people. god is glorious.”

and so here we are, knowing that literally thousands of people just today have hopefully somehow seen god through our marriage. that in itself is mind-blowing. because it is so not of us. we are so very ordinary. tonight is so very ordinary. ian is napping. the rain is pouring outside and the washer downstairs is spinning. the poor clothes in the washer probably won’t get switched until I get home from work tomorrow. and by that time, they’ll need to be re-washed. i can’t see the floor of our bedroom, our laundry completely taking over. i’m putting off making dinner, even though all it requires is putting leftovers on a plate and into the microwave.

and yet, in the midst of this ordinary, the weight of what has happened today through this video and what will continue to happen pummels me. it pummels me because what god is accomplishing through our afflictions is happening at the same time that we are sinning. What a great divide that crosses. What wretched sinners Ian and I are, and yet somehow, He uses us to magnify himself. Our sin does not prevent god’s glory on display.

on days like this, we get just a glimpse of this promised eternal weight of glory, as undeserved as it is, and it is enough to bring us to our knees. how great this weight will be in heaven!

one thing that we love and hold so close on days like this is that our dad, steve, now feels and knows that weight of glory. he prepared us so well and we can’t wait to see him again. one of the biggest impressions on my heart the few days after he died was that he was seeing fully. and that he would encourage us to press on, because it is beyond worth it.

thank you, all. in the words of my dear husband, god is awesome.

i&l

  Filed under: "God Himself"
  Comments: None

fraudulent

By admin,

“you shouldn’t have said that today, maybe that sounded harsh, you’re assuming a heart motive, that’s not believing the best of that person, you’re angry again, you’re inpatient again,” the voices in my heart and in my head drone on all day.

eventually my body sits to write – to be the means of a story God has written that has nothing to do with myself.

a calendar with dates for talking to people in public, at retreats, conferences – who am i to have this place?

my sins rattle throughout my brain all day and tell me that this is fraud.

that this experience, this public story we’re telling, is not worthy of being told by me. that my sin somehow cancels out anything God would do through us.

that this husband, so sweet and foundational should have more than this sinning wife.

“the Lord your God is in your midst; a might one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exalt over you with loud singing.” – zephaniah 3:17

my God still rejoices over me. he will quiet me.

so humbly and dependently we make our way.

“Who, oh Lord, could save themselves,
Their own soul could heal?
Our shame was deeper than the sea
Your grace is deeper still”

  Filed under: "God Himself", "marriage", "the dross"
  Comments: None

called, for the glory of God

By admin,

“Paul, called by the will of God, to be an apostle of Christ Jesus” 1 Cor. 1:1
reading tonight, and listening to a teaching, and thinking of how Paul was called to be an apostle, and how as Christians we are called to a purpose for the glory of God – this strikes us.
this week  on vacation, we don’t have a caregiver with us and we don’t have murphy brothers with us who know just how to care for ian. and while it can be tiring, taking care of ian is what fills me, and teaches me, and humbles me and moves me toward heaven. when i have days with just ian, i am completed much differently than days at my office.
tonight as we read with the rain falling on the leaves outside, and as we draw nearer to our book really happening, and as we look at requests for speaking, our purposes become a little bit clearer.
this marriage, this hard and magnificent marriage, is to what we are called.
ian murphy, called to be a disabled husband, for the glory of God.
larissa murphy, called to be a wife, for the glory of God.
“but now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel,
Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.”

  Filed under: "God Himself", "marriage"
  Comments: None