i’m staring at the screen, paralyzed by the glare in front of me. ian is in the kitchen eating with devon. our suite is clean, so i can’t distract myself with that. the only thing left looming ahead of me are these words that need to somehow get themselves onto the page.

i was imagining myself feeling really artsy, maybe a little emo, sitting at our metal top table, being an author. listening to the nick drake pandora station. i even got a big sweater and leggings that i dreamt to be my writing outfit, all snuggled up on a wicker chair, sipping tea and furiously spewing out words.

instead, i’m wearing ian’s sweatshirt because i was too lazy to find anything else, my brain has nothing in it but cravings for meadows ice cream, and my body wants to slump into a warm down comforter for the night.

this is so not glamorous.

being an author, as we use that term loosely, is maybe not how i had pictured it to be.

but everything is work, and that’s what will make this project so rewarding. i’m surely learning obedience and discipline. this book will be nothing short of a miracle once it’s completed.

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

thank you, always

larissa

  Filed under: "our writing"
  Comments: None

  Filed under: "our writing", gratefulness
  Comments: None

We finally submitted our book proposals. One giant step toward our upcoming writing project.

Next up? Getting our house packed up and ready to move into one bedroom at Mary’s house.

  Filed under: "our writing"
  Comments: None

  Filed under: "our writing"
  Comments: None

Below is our second guest post on Power of the Home.

Kathie handed us the pre-marital counseling manual on our way out of the church building. This was big – I had seen other couples with this manual and wondered what that stage of life must have felt like. Scared? Excited? Anxious? It felt weird to be holding the white, three ring binder with the yellow card stock inserted into the clear plastic cover sleeve. “From the Ground Up,” the black, swirly ink looked me in the eye. I didnʼt know if we would ever get here, because Ian was sick, and because holding this binder meant being courageous.

But five minutes into the first message on the CD at Ianʼs momʼs house just about did me in. I sent our pastor a quick email and said that we just couldnʼt do it. His response, more than gracious, as expected, was that we could skip the binder and find another plan that would be more helpful for us.

I couldnʼt do it because the message and the chapter topics of that binder felt so, meaningless. At least to us. In that stage. It simply wasnʼt helpful for me to hear examples of the practical ways our lives would change or the specific examples of leadership and submission that we should be preparing to exhibit. We just needed our souls to be cared for. And we needed to have such a big view of God that would allow our marriage to feel possible. We knew that Ianʼs leadership would look different than the examples in that binder. We knew that my submission would be manifested differently too. The content in that binder has and will continue to help so many marriages, and is so important. But it wasnʼt for us.

But God still met us. Clinging to His word, particularly the illustration of Christʼs covenant keeping love to the church (Ephesians 5:22-33), we sought to understand what this would look like in our lives. We had regular counsel with our pastor and talked about what our lives specifically would look like, as much as we could anticipate. We prayed a lot. We teeter-tottered between fear and peace. We wondered if we would someday grow old and watch our grandkids play. We wondered if our marriage would be brief, being ended in youth by death. And we wondered how in the world we would enjoy each other every disabled day.

Now nearing our two year anniversary, as I sit and write this, Ian is holding my right foot on his lap. Heʼs watching me type as the fan hums, desperately trying to pull the cool air out of the vents on a humid night. I look up and heʼs looking right at me, “Are you uncomfortable, Larissa?” “No, Iʼm ok. Thank you for asking.” “You looked uncomfortable.”My smile sneaks up, because this is enjoyment, a husband that watches me, and sits with me, and loves. And because we have a God that is bigger than our marriage, we can rest.

  Filed under: "marriage", "our writing"
  Comments: None

i love the emails that i read in the middle of the night. recently not sleeping full through, it’s fun to check my email since i’m awake anyway and see what God is doing while i sleep.

one of those emails was a request from Darlene who from Time Warp Wife, asking to re-post our video and a recent post. the content from us isn’t new, but it’s a super fun blog to check out.

Time Warp Wife

  Filed under: "marriage", "our writing"
  Comments: None

we were recently asked to write two guest blog posts for Power of the Home. Our first ran this week – you can check it out here. look for post two later this week!

Power of the Home

  Filed under: "a disabled life", "marriage", "our writing"
  Comments: None

we recently had our fourth and final article posting on the Desiring God blog, which focused on heaven. you can read the post here.

  Filed under: "our writing"
  Comments: None

we recently had our fourth and final article posting on the Desiring God blog, which focused on heaven. you can read the post here.

  Filed under: "our writing"
  Comments: None

we recently had our fourth and final article posting on the Desiring God blog, which focused on heaven. you can read the post here.

  Filed under: "our writing"
  Comments: None