why i don’t like fall (and probably never will)
By The Murphys,
it’s becoming “then.”
the air is changing.
it flows through my chest more harshly, less the hotness of summer.
the leaves sound angrier underfoot and the dew has gone into slumber.
and all the sounds and smells and pumpkins that end up on peoples kitchen tables remind me of what fall took from me.
what left me on september 30 in a ford station wagon
what left us on october 8 while sleeping in bed.
some of us know that “then” hurts, and it always will. the way it smelled when he left. the temperature the day you miscarried. the way the grass felt in the cemetery. there’s no use pretending it doesn’t hurt. because the triggers to “then” are real. because the smells take us bac to “then” faster than we want to go.
and it’s ok to be feeling the “thens.”
there was someone who knew, “where God tears great gaps we dare not fill with mere human words.”
there was One who was sorrowful unto death.
because hurting and wanting to hide and flooding with memories means we love.
and deep love makes us bleed.
love
L
Filed under: "God Himself", "the dross"
Comments: 5