Ian kept his eyes closed today. I could tell he was awake at times, but just wasn’t opening his eyes. His right eye is very red- redder than I’ve ever seen it I think. Please keep praying that God would heal the infection in his eye and prevent it from spreading.

His nurse said that he was being pretty feisty this morning. He kept pushing her hand away when she was trying to brush his teeth. In speech today Val was putting some things in his mouth but he kept pushing her hand away too. He’s much more oriented to his body so that when he wants to push someone away, he finds their hand almost immediately.

Tonight while I was praying with Ian, I started feeling very anxious, even in my prayers. I want so badly for him to just wake up. Sometimes that fact that I know God can heal him with one breath makes it even more frustrating! I just want to say “come on God, just do it! I know you can!” But just because I know that God is able, doesn’t mean that He has to. Just because we have faith that He can, doesn’t mean that He is going to. He will do what is perfect for us, in His perfect timing.

I knew in my anxiousness that I was not trusting God. He commands us not to worry and I need to obey Him. So I sat down in the chair next to Ian’s bed and decided that I should probably start learning what it means to “cast your cares on the Lord.” (Psalm 55:21-23) My anxiousness about when Ian will wake does not glorify God or change the situation. I found it most helpful in those few minutes to just close my eyes and try to focus on the cross. To let go of the worries about tomorrow and try to delight in what God has already accomplished for me through Jesus’ blood. Changing my thought pattern in that moment was not in my own doing or strength- on my own, I would’ve left the hospital feeling pretty discouraged. But God graciously reveals sin to us and provides a way out.

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flames shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
-How Firm a Foundation

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My parents were at the Children’s Institute (where Ian is) all day learning how to conduct therapy for Ian. As soon as we can get the driveway ready for him he can come home, and we need to be prepared to take care of him.

Regarding Jesus, as he hung on a cross…
“to us, sensations such as our Lord endured would have been insupportable, and kind unconscious would have come to our rescue; but in his case, he was wounded, he felt the sword; he drained the cup and tasted every drop.” -C.H. Spurgeon

Jesus experienced pain so that our pain – Ian’s pain – would be temporary (2 Cor 4:14-18, “slight momentary affliction”).
There’s nothing greater than knowing that hard times are overshadowed (or, more accurately, made negligible) by the fact that what we need most has already been provided for:

“For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins…”
(1 Corinthians 15:3).

Pray big things to our God who has done the big thing already.
Pray that Ian would be healed.

But most importantly, pray that we would recognize God as he really is, however that may best be done.

Thanks,
-Ben

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…he is our help and our shield.” That’s from Ps 33:20. Donna reminded me of this verse tonight. That’s exactly where we need to be with all that’s happening around us:

• Ian is in a coma (Frank noticed that Ian followed him with his head and his eyes from one side of the bed to the other and that he seems more agitated than the last time he saw Ian).
• To get him home and get him into familiar surroundings we need good weather to get a sidewalk and driveway in, but the weather isn’t cooperating.
• We learned tonight that Ian’s primary care doctor at The Children’s Institute is no longer working for the Institute as of today – an abrupt departure – and we don’t know why.
• Tomorrow we go in for training to learn how to care for Ian. I can’t speak for Mary, but I’m intimidated.

And so we wait for the Lord. He is our help and our shield. “Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you” (Ps 33:22).

Thank you for your prayers for us and for Ian.

Steve

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On my drive home today I was overwhelmed thinking of all that has happened in the past six months. I was thinking back to our days spent in the ICU, remembering the smells and sounds of Ian’s room. It’s so good for me to think about where we were, because it reminds me of how far God has brought us. I randomly picked a post from November 1 and was reminded of all that God has done:

“Today, we thought he was moving to his new treatment facility, but at the last minute they discovered fluid on his brain. He won’t relocate today, but instead he will have surgery on Friday to install a shunt in his head. My son, Caleb, highlighted the kindness of God in this new development when he noted that God showed the doctors this problem before Ian moved. It’s not what I would have chosen; I’m too impatient to get moving with his therapy. But, God knows what’s right and best.”

I remember what IUP classroom I was in when Steve called and told me about the surgery for the shunt. I remember that Ben, my friend Jan and I stayed at the hospital Thursday night so we could be there on Friday while he was in surgery for his shunt. I remember that as soon as we saw him after the surgery, the swelling was visibly less on the right side of his head and he already seemed more responsive to us.

God was with us then and He is with us now. He delivered Ian from and sustained him through those seemingly dangerous surgeries and he has delivered us from nights spent sleeping on hospital floors. He has performed miracle after miracle in Ian’s body and I believe that there are more miracles on the way. In the past few days, Ian has been more able to tell us when he is uncomfortable or even angry. He pushes the nurses away when they try to put the braces on his left arm and last night he was using his voice for at least five minutes. He is able to communicate with us through facial expressions when he is uncomfortable and then we are able to help him, which is an answer to prayer.

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I regularly remember when Ian came to me at Youth Camp one night to talk. He was overcome with guilt over his sin, and it was very obvious that the Holy Spirit was drawing Ian’s attention to all the sin that he had, indeed, committed. As with us all, that first encounter with the Holy Spirit’s penetrating interrogation of Ian’s heart was really only the beginning. There have been many more occasions where Ian and I discussed his sin. His awareness of his guilt before God has only grown, and his humility over his sin has been so amazing and encouraging. With his growing awareness of his sin came a growing appreciation for what Christ has done for him.

We celebrate Easter as the day Christ rose from the dead declaring to us that God was satisfied with what Christ had done. What Christ did was enough to secure our forgiveness and freedom from guilt. I remind myself of that night at Youth Camp now more than ever, because it comforts me knowing that my Savior is his Savior, too. God is for Ian, because Christ died and rose again and because I know that what Christ did He did for Ian. Happy Easter, Ian!

Pray for Ian. Pray that he would come out of this coma.

Steve

(The cards on Ian’s wall are thanks to the students at Jubilee Christian School. They mean a lot to us. We’re going to save them for Ian, so he can see them when he wakes up. Thank you!)

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I wondered that yesterday when I saw Ian. His eyes were open, and he was looking at me (that’s a change from the last few days when he would only keep his eyes closed, and we weren’t sure if he was asleep). Is everthing he sees just a confusing mess? Where is he? Does he hear me? Wherever he is, it’s a comfort knowing that even there the Lord is with Ian.
“Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend into heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,’ even the darkeness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you” (Psalm 139:7-12).
Ian has been keeping his eyes open more than he had been, but at times he still seems to be in pain from them.
Thank you for praying.
Steve

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“As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” Having said these things, he spat on the ground and made mud with the saliva. Then he anointed the man’s eyes with the mud and said to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which means Sent). So he went and washed and came back seeing.”

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Larissa was with Ian yesterday. She said she put his sunglasses on the top of his head because they had just gone back inside the hospital. He reached up and took the glasses and put them back on his nose. I wonder if it was because he’s extra sensitive to light with the bacteria in his eyes.

Please pray that his eyes would heal. Pray for wisdom for the doctors. Pray that Ian would talk to us again.

Thank you.

Steve

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