a letter for thirty

| Comments: 25




to my husband at thirty,

at twenty you decided to love me, and let you heart be filled with someone young and someone somewhat shy and someone who needed to learn how to love.

to really, actually love.

we both needed to learn it, our young hearts knowing better how to love selfishly then to give. we loved because it was easy and because we thought we somehow fulfilled each other. we loved because we were happy together and because we really actually didn’t need to know how to love any different way. yet.

at twenty one you started shopping for something to put on my hand to show me that this imperfect love was what you wanted forever. i knew you loved me better than i loved you. i could feel it in your confidence. your love was growing and the gut feeling that this love you had wouldn’t change because God was in it grew too and you were fighting for me.

i didn’t know God like that yet. i didn’t know myself like that yet.

by twenty two you had disappeared. you were hidden in yourself, in that secret place that i’ll never be invited into, the secret of your coma. that place that kept you from talking to me but didn’t keep you from loving me.

“his heart rate goes highest when you talk to him”

“he looks at you differently”

“he follows you with his eyes”

by twenty five your voice came back and your love fought hard enough to believe that God would allow you to be the husband you needed to be. and so you asked me.

and now at thirty, my dear lovey at thirty, you still love me better and fight harder than i do for you.

you always want to be with me.

you just want to be with me.

you don’t put expectations on me. you don’t put requirements on me. you don’t care if your party on saturday won’t be decorated because it took all my brains to get thirty people in from out of town. you don’t care that the floors are a mess or that i haven’t scrubbed the shower in a month or that our dirty laundry is stll on our bedroom floor.

you love me like this. in my imperfection. in the inconveniences i cause you. in the harsh words i say and the lunches i forget to prepare for you and the light bulbs that have been burnt out for months but i’m too lazy to change them. in my body that doesn’t feel like it used to and when i wonder out loud what it used to look like you say “always have and will be hot.”

you just enjoy me. in the way i’m made.

and in that, you show me how God loves me. through you, God reminds me that He enjoys and delights in me exactly as He created me to be.

no expectations. no works.

thank you, lovey, for living this out for me. i want your heart of love.

here’s to thirty.

love you always

your wifey



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  Comments: 25

  1. What beauty in true love! To see as God sees…a love deeper than you ever dreamed, I’m sure.

    Your lives are an inspiration, and I love how you allow God to use you.

    Happy birthday…full of love and blessings from above!

  2. You both amaze me and push me closer to Jesus, right where I need to be and for that I thank you.

  3. Sarah Sensenig

    Lovely. 🙂
    Happy Birthday!

  4. Christine carvey

    This is perfect and pure and filled with love. Thank you for sharing from your heart. I don’t know you personally but I’m honored to know your story.

  5. Happy birthday, Ian!

    Thanks to you both for reminding me what God’s love in a marriage looks like.

    I needed that.

  6. May your love grow ever stronger as you continue to grow in His love. HE challenges me through seeing Him work in you.

  7. This. Is. Amazing. Your story and your love is so real and raw and FULL of Jesus… and I love it all. <3

    (happy birthday, Ian! Hope your day is marvelous!)

  8. Michael Williams

    Thank you for that. It’s encouraging to know! 🙂

  9. It is such a sacrifice for you both. Pray I can love that deep!

  10. Happy Birthday Ian!
    I can’t wait to see how much you are going to keep improving year by year, but no matter what loving each other as you always have and I’m positive you always will.
    Sending lots of love from Barcelona.


  11. Happy thirties, Ian.
    Its friday morning as I’m in the bus going to work and I’m smiling alone. So great to actually see God on you both and in your relationship. That just make me want this in my own relationship too. Thanks for sharing this love.

  12. Beautiful! Happy birthday!

  13. Ten years of love chronicled in this letter! What a testimony to the grace of God and to love that “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

  14. I think LovE is a present from God, My LOVE has died 6 months ago and I feel half of myself has died with him.
    Your story is a really example of what LovE can do possible. Happy Life together! God Bless you both!

  15. Fantastic post. Happy birthday to Ian 🙂

  16. Adrian Kulakauskas

    Happy Birthday Ian 🙂 You are very blessed to know each other, Praise God, for the light of Christ shines out of you and your beautiful wife- Many more to come 🙂

  17. Beautiful xx Love the greatest gift of all … God bless you both xx

  18. Imelda Aguilar

    True love. Jesus style.

  19. Wishing you the happiest!

  20. God bless both of you, what beautiful testimony to God’s saving mercy. I survived a auto accident that completely changed my life and taught me every day is so precious. God is so good. I lost my beautiful mother to alzheimer’s, She taught me how to trust God and all He is. I miss her so much but she is always with me. You were led to each other and the plan came to be for you to be a support and blessing as you each grow. I wish happiness, love and God’s mercy always, let this birthday be one you will always remember and what you have come through together. Love and prayers, Tina

  21. Melissa McIntyre

    This is beautiful!

  22. Happy Birthday, Ian. Thank you both for reminding us that no matter how messy or hard love gets, our stories can be beautiful when we let God write them.

  23. B
    less you both Ian and Larissa. You are some example WoW!!1111

    With love


    your love story is amazing. sounds like you have the deep love an devotion found in couples who have been together for many decades, not just one. You are both truly an inspiration. thank you for sharing your story.

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