it wasn’t there permanently, the words in my head and heart that would tell me over and over that God loved and valued us. eight years of brains that don’t work right and of wants called to wait hadn’t taught me yet to always believe. 

and so that week, the lies and doubts and disbelief were loud, too loud, bouncing in my thoughts enough to bring me to tears in bed before my husband. tears because i didn’t believe He valued us, because sometimes watching the good that we want for our lives happen to others digs deeply into the places of our hearts that were mangled on September 30. 

he gently encouraged me, that He had a perfect plan, that there was not room to doubt a God as big as ours.

and through that week of tears, a gift appeared.

a gift appeared that in itself, is just a small plot covered in brick but when God is involved, became the world to us. because it told me this:

“yes, Larissa, God does exist.”

in that week, God led a friend who had a house to sell to one of our friends. because their sister had died too young.

“John, that’s Ian and Larissa’s house!” 

His wife knew, and so they called, and two days before his surgery, we were looking into the future that meant a place to call our own.

a place that had all that we had been praying for.

a place built for ian.

a place built for our income.

a place built for me.

those three big prayers, that were hard to see how they would be answered, were. those big prayers that started when we met our realtor a year ago, were fulfilled.

and the ball set into motion was faster than most had ever seen, a three week closing process and no stress.

and the family, the family that lost their beautiful daughter, was praying for God to drop someone out of the air. someone who needed the ramp. the lowered counter tops. the chair lift.

someone who needed what they had built for their daughter who spent her life in a wheelchair too.

and when we came, a little bit of their hearts healed.

a little bit of redemption.

and we talk on the phone, long talks, Evelyn and I. And we have a tea date, as soon as those walls and floors are finished.

yes, Larissa, God does exist. and God loves you.

now we work to make a home, where we will grow to love God more. where friends and family and those soon to be will sit and eat and talk. and we’ll watch as God uses our home to bring comfort, rest, and renewed understanding of each of our great purposes.

we work to make a home where marriage is valued, brain injuries are understood and laughter is required.

all because He gave us this one incredible gift. 

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our blog has been quiet, not because He is not at work, but because brains are full and eye lids are tired. from a healing femur to a wifey with work days filled to the brim, buying our first home and finding a new car that he will fit into with a straight leg and planning a book release arriving in two months, the space in our brains for creating these words is sparse, because it is filled with gifts.

and even though our evenings are quieter, less running while the bones heal, the gaps in our thoughts are filled with planning and processing and wondering how in the world He led 10 million people to view our videos in three years. all the while wondering, yet knowing, how in the world He will make it even bigger.

and there are moments like this, where we are forced to be stuck in the now, in this exact moment, because it’s the only place these little people know where to live.

and before rara runs off to a board meeting while uncle ian joins our little murphy three for an evening, we receive another reminder that He has created so very much for us to enjoy.

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In case any of you are wondering, I’m feeling well. Four out of 10 is my pain level right now.

It will greatly behoove me to have a straighter leg – there’s only so much I can do with it bent. I will be able to walk much better now. Thank you, Dr T, for enabling me to walk.

Thank you for following.

Ian

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“may i come in?”

he entered the room slowly but with comfort. his shirt collar told me that he was used to these rooms, used to machines that attach their tentacles to bodies.

i agreed that he may, as my laptop perched on my lap, legs covered with new leggings whose patterns made me feel like a zebra. my overnight bag is being drawn out longer than we planned and I value clean clothes that haven’t slept on hospital recliners.

“I’m the Chaplain here, and I was wondering if I could pray for you.”

i welcomed him for both of us, my sparrow’s eyes pulled tightly shut by pain meds and a healing leg.

“now, i have to say that i saw something this morning. my wife sent me a video.”

i knew what he was about to say, because it happens so often.

“i saw a video of you two this morning. i think my wife was trying to tell me something about our own marriage, about my steadfastness.”

“did you know we were here?” I asked.

that’s when a little miracle began to unfold in our little hospital room, as the sun heating the city to over 70 beat down on his bed. 

“my wife asked if maybe i had prayed for you when the accident happened.”

we were in the same hospital. 

“i spent a lot of time on the neuro ICU unit.”

he mentioned unit 4G, a place that had become a home for 7 weeks. that’s where we were. so he probably had prayed for us. he probably had been there when my sparrow was failing 4 out of 5 brain activity tests.

“when my wife asked, i looked into my records, wondering if i had met you before. and then i saw that you’re here now. and it confirmed what the Spirit had been telling me.”

before seeing today’s census, before realizing that we were just a few flights up from him, he felt burdened to add our story to his team’s prayer family. before he knew we were in again, before he knew about a surgery.

“not a sparrow falls,” he said, his faith strengthened because we both knew coincidences didn’t exist.

this little miracle, that a video seen by a chaplain’s wife put into motion, buried itself into my heart.

“God is amazing.”

he agreed. because we’ve only been here three mornings. the video seen any other day wouldn’t have led to that, wouldn’t have led to the chaplain anointing and praying over my sparrow for miracles.

he recounted all that he has seen in the ICU’s, in 10 years as chaplain, as constantly seeing the miraculous.

and my mind turned back to earlier in the day, when we received a visit from his original neurosurgeon for which we had hoped. a visit from the man who has seen inside my sparrow’s brain and has seen how near he was to death. a man that reminded us of the incredible number of odds that my sparrow has overcome and who still takes an interest in us.

the chaplain and the neurosurgeon, our lives all weaving together for these hours, threads of a story that we won’t know in full. threads that have lasted more than 8 years. threads that still continue to weave beautiful miracles. threads that we would not have chosen but that are creating an immense tapestry, far more beautiful than we could have created on our own.

and my God is keeping watch on my sparrow. 

love

L

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yesterday was a big day for ian. a day that he willingly walked into because he believes in God’s faithfulness and provision for his future.

we took on yesterday because we believe that ian is too young to give up hope on him walking again.

we let yesterday into our lives because we have an incredible surgeon who loves ian.

yesterday happened because God brought walking back into ian’s life through his hard work, an incredible caregiver and a stubborn therapist who changed our lives. their work meant this surgery could happen.

and God went beyond our expectations, letting an expected 8 hour surgery happen in less than 3.

and now ian’s leg heals. and it heals into straightness, a shape it hasn’t been in since eight years ago. 

he heals under the hums of the hospital room and next door patients.

and we enter into a new season of recovery. and remembering that God still knows us. 

much love,

l

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please keep me in mind on friday. i will having surgery on my right leg. please pray for rest the night before, wisdom for me going into it, strength for me in my mind and for my wifey, that she would be strong.

thanks guys.

ian

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Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

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i snuck away from work today, just to visit his session and see how things were going.

this face of his has been  making me smile so much lately, and i wanted to see his progress.

the progress he had made last week, when i found him here, in the basement of the therapy office, walking with the parallel bars.

“the bars gave him the confidence he needed,” the therapist said today.

the confidence to do this.

to take steps on his own.

for the first time in eight years. 

she didn’t think he was ready, to have her let go and let him slowly work it on his own.

i had told her months ago that if he was closing to taking even one step without support, i needed to know. i wanted to be there.

we didn’t think that would be today.

but it was.

and i was there.

and his caregiver who has been with him for seven years. 

and after eight years of hard work and not giving up and not letting discouragement take over, he’s broken through something that has been holding him back.

“it gives me hope for my future,” he said, as we sat on the couch waiting for our 15 and then some guests to arrive at our spontaneous party, because everything needs a celebration.

his niece and nephew have been praying for him, and when they heard the news, even their little hearts knew.

“uncle ian,” his four year old voice said. “god answered our prayers and you’re walking on your own without falling down.”

“uncle ian,” her voice cracked, three years of happiness breaking through. “He (God) saved our message. and i’m grateful because you’re walking.” 

God did save our message, our prayers, and He hasn’t forgotten them. He was not dependent on our faith.

he fell into sleep easily tonight, his tired muscles needing their rest and his brain needing silence.

he fell asleep as a good man who hasn’t given up and who has known all along, deep in his heart, that His God is for him – always.

thank you, for praying for ian,

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words to share have not been many on here this year, yet God is keeping us, as we finish our book and search for a house to buy and wait for the breaking of spring.

ian continues to see God’s help in therapy, progressing to walking with just the help of parallel bars and not his therapist. he’s not giving up.

we’re thankful that joy in our marriage is not granted because of our merit but because God loves us and treats us as His children.

thank you for sharing in His work with us.

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last week, ian got on a treadmill at therapy with assistance from us. on his best round, he got about 10 steps in on his own as he held on onto the handles.

it’s small to us that have full use of our legs, but to ian, it was a huge step.

in a few hours we leave for the mountains and the city, to celebrate jesus with our wonderful families.

please enjoy times of rest and hope.

love
i&l

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