six of our ten ways
6. I have to make time for my spouse.
when we were first married, i had no idea what my priorities needed to be as a wife. i still don’t. and i had so many desires that really were good and supporting of ian, like creating a home, learning new recipes, hosting parties, doing volunteer work, seeking out fellowship.
but sometimes i was doing those in a way that meant less time for ian, and less quality time with me when i actually still had some fuel in me.
it took me awhile, and i’m still learning, that i had to make time for my spouse. because sometimes just waking up next to each other, while that’s more time than anyone else has with me, is not enough. we needed quality time.
i’m also still learning that ian’s pace of life is different than mine. he needs to have time for rest. he needs to take his team to eat. he needs more time to get dressed. and big crowds aren’t always good for him.
part of being ian’s spouse is letting myself be disabled, and making room and time for him to be the priority. for a long time, and maybe for the rest of our marriage, that means spending less time hosting social events. less time serving outside of the house after work. not abandoning any of them completely, because ian knows how much i need them, but not putting them in front of ian.
i’m gone enough as it is – full time work means a lot of time away from ian. he needs quality time with me. and because of ian’s disability, i see the practical ways that he needs me, that translate to his emotional needs, too. if he were healthy, maybe it would be harder for us to see that.