number six

| Comments: 2

six of our ten ways

6. I have to make time for my spouse.

when we were first married, i had no idea what my priorities needed to be as a wife. i still don’t. and i had so many desires that really were good and supporting of ian, like creating a home, learning new recipes, hosting parties, doing volunteer work, seeking out fellowship.

but sometimes i was doing those in a way that meant less time for ian, and less quality time with me when i actually still had some fuel in me.

it took me awhile, and i’m still learning, that i had to make time for my spouse. because sometimes just waking up next to each other, while that’s more time than anyone else has with me, is not enough. we needed quality time.

i’m also still learning that ian’s pace of life is different than mine. he needs to have time for rest. he needs to take his team to eat. he needs more time to get dressed. and big crowds aren’t always good for him.

part of being ian’s spouse is letting myself be disabled, and making room and time for him to be the priority. for a long time, and maybe for the rest of our marriage, that means spending less time hosting social events. less time serving outside of the house after work. not abandoning any of them completely, because ian knows how much i need them, but not putting them in front of ian.

i’m gone enough as it is – full time work means a lot of time away from ian. he needs quality time with me. and because of ian’s disability, i see the practical ways that he needs me, that translate to his emotional needs, too. if he were healthy, maybe it would be harder for us to see that.

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  Comments: 2

  1. Hi Ian & Larissa,

    Wow! What a blessed couple you are. God is merciful and His unfailing lasts forever.

    I bought and read your ebook. Now I follow your life and great successes on facebook and your website

    You are both an inspiration to me. Your marriage, your love for each other makes me hope that soon and very soon the Lord would give me the desire of my heart to have a wonderful man to love and cherish as you do each other
    I pray for you and wish you God’s eternal blessings. May He continue to strengthen you to stay connected to Him, to love Him always as long as you live.

    May joy, peace, gentleness, humility always be with you. May His grace and mercy follow you and keep you grounded in each other. May your love for each other continue to grow and grow. I just you two people

    Eleanor in Trinidad

  2. Karen Nosbisch

    Dear Larissa and Ian,
    in October 2010 my husband Jim had a sTBI from a motorcycle crash, and over these years in renewing, we’ve experienced set back after set back resulting in 5 brain afflictions altogether. As you know, each one leaves relearning everything that already took so much to learn yet God in His mighty goodness, is here, working it all out and my husbands renewing is slowly moving. When Jim was in recovery, I received a link with encouragement to watch your story. I did. It was God inspiring. These days, as you know, life moves us along in a busy way as a wife giving full car to a husband. As God does, He brought Jim and I to a dinner event last night called Freedom Village, a place for troubled teens on drugs. Anyhow at our table was a younger woman with her daughter who I was blessed to have conversation. During this time, she was watching me with my husband (you never know how God works through us in our trials of life) . She mentioned (the Glory goes to God here) how blessed she was to see ‘real life’ ‘in action’ right in front of her what she referred to was Jesus in action, just by my care to my husband Jim. Yelena, then gave me a slip of paper asking me to look up your story. She told me she follows you and Jesus had shown her that amazing love through us. How humbling. God being ever present at our dinner last night brought amazing blessings to me as well and with Yelena’s note, I looked you up once again and in this particular blog, God has given me a special kind of hug through your words. See, I too find myself taking care of so many things that sometimes ‘just sitting’ (and not for feeding) with my husband does not happen as often as I would like. Reading this days blog, even today 5-29-15, God showed me that my spending some hours of relaxing time with Jim, just sitting on our porch in these warmer days, has been a great treasure – for us both. I did struggle with guilt, thinking I should be ‘getting something done’ and ‘just sitting’ was not productive, but God showed that it was productive…it was rejuvenating my spirit and bringing all sorts of conversations between me and Jim. Learning to see God in it all, I have been so blessed to notice the treasures in ‘just hanging out’ with my husband and seeing the world, we in good health, take for granted. This journey from traumatic brain injury is a hard one full of ups and downs and challenges unbelievable, yet with Christ, we succeed. We are committed to walk together through this journey to a victorious healing, together as husband and wife, and hope others experiencing these kinds of difficulties will realize, with Christ, Hope thrives and we survive…well. Thank you for sharing your story and may God bless you both in wonderful ways always.

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