two spoons
there are two spoons in our bowl tonight.
normally there is one because we share. and I help him and sometimes just feed him because it’s easier and it’s hard for him to have a steady hand sometimes.
normally I’m too lazy. too impatient.
but tonight there are two, because he’s doing it himself.
im letting him do it by himself.
I’m forcing myself to move at the speed he needs and to be ok with a floor and husband covered with rice. I’m forcing myself to be there and praying that I stay there, because when I’m helping him with everything, I’m not helping him at all.
he needs me to step back so that he can move forward.
he needs me to keep learning how to slow down my pace and ask Him for patience.
he needs me to help us get better together.
and he is so grateful, as he worked on buttoning his shirt for twenty minutes. twenty minutes to button is how hard he works.
“I need a timeout,” he said.
“why?”
“I need a kiss from my beautiful wifey.”
i should know this pace by now, in year eight. I can’t let the guilt in but need to let God shape this in me and make it possible.
would you pray for us?
Catherine
November 19, 2014 at 12:49 am
Pray for you both? Of course. Thank you for being such an encouragement.
Heidi Eisenhard
November 19, 2014 at 12:59 am
Praying always, Larissa! If we all worked at Ian’s pace, think how much more peaceful and less stressful we’d be. Plus I’m so in awe of his determination to do what he can and then he tries to do more, do better, do good! I know how hard it was to wait and let our boys learn to dress themselves and you are right, they need time. So continue to give Ian the time he needs! You both are overcomers!!!
Stacey Pardoe Shannon
November 19, 2014 at 1:03 am
Your words touch me tonight. You are an inspiration Miss Larissa!
Heather Ruble
November 19, 2014 at 1:04 am
Yes, Larissa. I will pray for you.
I am on the planning team for Tables of Christmas in Indy, and am looking forward to meeting you in December. Know that I will be lifting you and Ian up in the meantime, and after. I am currently reading your book and your story has captured a piece of my heart. 🙂
2 Corinthians 3:4,5– Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.
May the Lord fill in your gaps (and mine) today and every day. See you soon!
Delores Ponce de Leon
November 19, 2014 at 1:12 am
Absolutely I will pray for you sweet girl !! Prayers of patience and understanding and stepping back and allowing time for your wonderful husband to grow !! Prayers unceasingly for more of “2” of many more things to come !! : ) Love you both !!
Kimberlie Morris
November 19, 2014 at 1:24 am
Praying for you. Understanding the feeling of wanting to use 1 spoon, but using 2 instead, for all the reasons you shared. My little girl has permanent brain damage, from her birth mothers alcohol consumption during her pregnancy. So I get the ” need to help, need to just be there” dilema. Praying for strength, for courage, and for peace. For both of us.
~{hugs}~
Dawn
November 19, 2014 at 1:26 am
The two of you have inspired me. I just saw yawl on James Robinson show (life today) and I was in tears. Praying for the two of you & excited to hear more. I want to get your book as well. God Bless the two of you 🙂
Dawn
Donna
November 19, 2014 at 1:41 am
Larissa, I’ve been quietly praying for you and Ian since that late September day. You don’t know me, but we knew Ian’s dad and mom many years ago.
I understand a bit of your journey. I’ve been waking a similar road the past four years. Releasing expectation and finding contentment have been key to patience. It’s a daily task of releasing, surrendering and finally receiving. You
have been given a gift. Not all gifts are neatly wrapped. I know of these gifts. May God continue to hold you and help you. Always praying.
steve johns
November 19, 2014 at 1:44 am
Just took a couple of minutes to pray. “Give him endurance Father, give her patience Father, get glory in two spoons Father, and remind them that you delight in Christ’s work in them.” Thanks for your openness.
Cris
November 19, 2014 at 2:53 am
I will pray for you both! I loved your book and reviewed it on my blog 🙂
Claire
November 19, 2014 at 4:18 am
You have my prayers. I love your photography and your beautiful words. Much love from a special needs sibling who gets the struggle of taking life slower.
Daniel
November 19, 2014 at 7:57 am
Thanks so much for sharing, Larissa. Yes! – will definitely pray:
Our Father in heaven,
Let your name be lifted before the Murphys!
Let your healing rule come,
Let your guiding will be done
Among us – as it is where you are.
Fill our bowls this day; and,
Our hearts, too:
That we may spill over
With joy and forgiveness,
Just as you do.
And do not lead us to the shadow of death,
But lead us to your light,
That we may run in the way of your will!
becky miller jacobsen
November 19, 2014 at 1:31 pm
Larissa and Ian,
Prayers for patience and peace. Larissa, you being able to step back is the greatest gift for today. To all things there is a season, you have moved from “the doer and supporter” to the “supporter”. Try to embrace this. This is always the step I have the hardest time with. Love is a verb and we feel like we must be busy doing something. Love is still a verb, just this time it is in being “busy” being still. God bless. <3 becky
Toni Daniel
November 19, 2014 at 11:02 pm
🙂 Thankful for the example of love that you two are in the earth. Love, commitment and selflessness the way God intended it. I will pray, Larissa and Ian.
Sherri Moore
November 20, 2014 at 3:08 pm
Hi Larissa,
The love you have for each other overwhelms me. I’d be honored to pray for you.
Bind My Wandering Heart
November 20, 2014 at 6:23 pm
Praying for you both!
You guys are such an inspiration and testament to God’s faithfulness! Love reading your blog 🙂
mike ritter
November 20, 2014 at 6:32 pm
Others do not understand how difficult it is for you guys.
Dana notices the looks of folks as if to say, “Bless his heart. He’s struggling and she’s just watching.” Sometimes they interrupt, “Can I helpYou?”
“No!” … “thank you” (grrrrowl)
Oftentimes our struggling is just independence and it is a pretty big deal for us and y’all.
Ruby Bake. South Africa
November 21, 2014 at 5:40 am
Larissa & Ian
I saw you on James Robinson show. I just sat and listened to your story. I am in awe and as a Christian don’t know if I would have being able to to what you have. You are a rock to so many of us I am sure of that. You have inspired me, I have absolutely Nothing to complain about. Keep on keeping on in the mighty name of Jesus Amen.
Will continue to lift you up in prayer.
Steve Kasiguran
November 21, 2014 at 6:57 pm
Larissa, your tenderness and sensitivity to what God is doing in your life and Ian’s is both inspiring and challenging. May God give you strength and a peace that is beyond understanding.
Isaiah 49:13
Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the LORD comforts His people and will have compassion on His afflicted ones.
Lamentations 3:22-23
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Sarah
November 22, 2014 at 7:10 am
Bless his heart, and yours. My daughter has a brain injury, and though I want her to do all she can, it is indeed hard to step back. Keep fighting the good fight…both of you:).
Helena Waitman
November 26, 2014 at 10:22 pm
Always praying!!! You are doing the right thing!!! Love from Brazil, Helena,
Bethany
December 4, 2014 at 10:12 pm
To pray for 2 beautiful children of God, my pleasure. My mother has been taking care of my dad for 10 years now and I use your beautiful words to encourage her. My dad has gotten worse and their looking at putting him in a nursing home. He’s in his right mind and understands that my mother can’t do it all for much longer. I use your blog for encouragement. I understand, my friend. You have no idea the light you and Ian are.
Jenny Pollman
December 18, 2014 at 8:19 pm
Looking forward to the day I read you saying, “One bowl, two spoons, and not one grain of rice spilled”…… and “He buttoned his shirt in 20 SECONDS!”……
Have been through my own valley…… and come out on the other side.
Nothing is impossible with God.
He is for you; and He is with you.