year eight
September 30 – the day that will live in infamy for me. Some reasons why? I don’t know what happened, really, because I don’t remember it. It affected the people all around me. My life completely changed.
I wish I remembered it.
Who helped me?
Who watched me as they rescued me?
What did I look like?
Not remembering this car accident that completely shifted my life is debilitating because my inability to remember it means I can’t grieve it appropriately.
But He is good. Even though I can’t remember it, He does. And that gives me peace.
– Ian
Rachel Leslie
September 30, 2014 at 2:22 pm
Simple but powerful words. Perhaps if you could remember, your healing process might be even harder. Could this be a gift from Him that allows, rather, forces you to keep your thoughts forward. Maybe, just maybe, He wants your memory from before the accident to be full of lovely and beautiful moments that might be blurred with the harsh and painful reality of your accident. But you are right, you saw the pain in the people all around you, you felt the pain inside your body but had nothing to help you understand just how it happened…
I’ve been enamored with your story since learning of it recently. We lost our baby daughter 6 weeks ago after her 81 day battle on this Earth. She earned her Heavenly wings and since then I have found great peace and perspective when reading about you and Larissa. You are both quite an inspiration.
Be brave. Continue the path paved just for you and trust.
becky miller jacobsen
September 30, 2014 at 8:48 pm
Ian,
I worked with people who had TBI’s for 10 years. Most never remember the moment, but every moment forward reminds them. I will not patronize you with sayings that make me feel better for saying them, but you worse for hearing them. I have not lived your life, I can not truly know, even in my imagination I fall short. But, I do know something, you already know it too. God is the only one to give you the kind of peace that passes understanding. I pray for you and Larissa’s anxieties to vanish and strength for today, and tomorrow I will pray for your and Larissa’s daily measure again and on and on. God has blessed me with you and Larissa’s light reflecting God and his great love. God bless.
becky miller jacobsen
September 30, 2014 at 9:00 pm
Ian,
I worked with people who had TBI’s for 10 years. Most never remember the moment, but every moment forward reminds them. I will not patronize you with sayings that make me feel better for saying them, but you worse for hearing them. I have not lived your life, I can not truly know, even in my imagination I fall short. But, I do know something, you already know it too. God is the only one to give you the kind of peace that passes understanding. I pray for you and Larissa’s anxieties to vanish and strength for today, and tomorrow I will pray for your and Larissa’s daily measure again and on and on. God has blessed me with you and Larissa’s light reflecting God and his great love. God bless.
Mary Ann K.
October 2, 2014 at 2:08 pm
What a great post, Becky! I think those in your care are blessed to have you as a caregiver.
I can’t add what you said to Larissa and Ian; I can only echo it.
Still praying.
Mary Ann K.
Anna
October 18, 2014 at 6:16 am
I saw your story in a video a few months after I lost my fiancé- the love of my life, in a motocycle accident. We are both 26 and the guy that passed the Stop sign without checking and took my baby’s life is also 26 years old. We were together for 9 years. It’s been 7,5 cruel months since I lost him. It’s this unbelievable pain that I feel that took me away from God. I feel so betrayed. We would get married in 1 or 2 years depending on our financial status. We were so in love and we couldn’t live without each other. We knew the name of our children and what we wanted our life to be like. I saw your video and just started crying because we have the love you have. I know it’s not easy to live your life, I know it’s hard but trust me I have lost the one person that gave meaning to my life. I only live so my parents will not lose me too. Because they also lost a “son” when my fiancé left us. The only thing I can say is that every day is killing me more than the last one. I hope you never lose your love for each other. I wish I could see his eyes or hear his voice or hug him again. I wish I could have what you have.